SOAP MAKING

Life moves so fast.. Come to think of it, it just feels like this happened just yesterday...oh no no, it was a few years ago...and like this life moves on.. So many things happened since the last time I penned. Sister got married, Made new friends, few friends moved places, few have kids, many new things learnt, so many old things forgotten..few deliberate few just passed...Meanwhile I took up a new interest- "SOAP"

I started making soap and thoroughly enjoying making so many kinds. Life seems interesting with this new hobby. I have always been interested in "chemistry" aa aan it isn't just the chemistry of relationships but the science.

I like the very fact that chemicals bond and rebond giving birth to new bonds.

I was just browsing through looking for information on chemistry, also, on painting and paints. i was on lookout for hobby classes. I'm actually getting quite bored sitting at home after sister's marriage. While flipping through the pages I found an interesting link to soap making. I hadn't the least idea of making soaps at home. I always thought it was factory made. booom! here I'm making wonderful soaps and people who use it are all praises. Feels nice...

That's how I got the idea. I flipped through few chemistry books contacted few people and had the inherent urge to do it.

Its been a while practicing and trying it out on every other person I meet. Initially it was quite overwhelming to find a lot of information and options to begin with. Gradually with all kinds of trial and error I can now say I'm happy with the outcome. The feedback received from people I try it on encourages me to do it a lot...

I also tried my hands on bath salts and bath bombs. Tried it on myself, family and friends and their friends and the circle just grew. Superb reviews on it. Each time I made it, it turned better. Its amazing...

Now, I have begun customizing it according to need and requirement.

I love the goat milk soap for my skin and my family's. It feels very smooth, nourished and radiant. Its another thing I have been blessed with good skin, touch wood ;-) but to take care of the blessing- this helps!

 Soaps

Bath Salts

Bath Bombs

Many people ask me what exactly is bath bomb? How to use it:

Most importantly its sheer fun and very relaxing. You'll start enjoying your daily routine bath and it would no more be a routine but an experience in itself whether you are 2 or 92 years.. Bath bombs fizz and foam, dissolving in a flurry of color and bubbles within 2-4 minutes, depending on the size of the bomb. Some bath bombs also change your water to different colors, and children will LOVE the fragrance and the whole experience.

Guaranteed Soft skin : The ingredients in bath bombs gives your skin a massaging effect, soothing it by scrubbing off the dead skin and making it smoother and softer. It softens the water in which you are taking bath and hence the water becomes more gentler on your skin. My customers after using the bath bombs compare it to silk. A customer said "my skin feels like silk after using your mini bombs"(she used her term-mini bomb for bath bombs  )

It is a good moisturiser Bathing in hot water can rip your skin off of essential oils and make it feel dry and scaly. Our bath bombs have special natural ingredients to keep your skin moist and radiant by nourishing it.

Fragrance: who doesn't love to smell good and people love being around others who smell nice. Bath bombs keep you fresh and you smell wonderful all through the day. Bath bombs make your whole bathing experience a fragrant one.. Your bath room too shall smell good after you leave it... It enhances your mood and keeps your fresh. The bombs soothe your senses, the fragrance soothes your mind.

Tightens skin and influences the mood.

I highly recommend you use IVORY bath bombs to know more benefits. I recommend you use IVORY bath products as they are very natural and chemical free. They are made of all natural products and are free of parabens, no phthalates, and no yucky stuff that your skin will hate you for..

Bath bombs also have therapeutic effects on mind and body. They please all your senses and relieves you of your daily fatigue and prepares you for your busy day.

Also, it gives you a feel of luxury. The luxury of indulging and its something you do for yourself and that would make you happy.

Using IVORY product your skin will fall in love with you over and over daily... Please try one out, and let me know about your bath bomb experience! I look forward to hearing from you.

How to use them?

 Just drop one bath bomb in your bucket of water or if you use a bathtub you can add up another bomb. It shall fizz in 2-3 minutes. Sometimes changing the colour of the water. They have a great color and smell...hmm...and they tend to look slightly granular up close. get into the bath tub or use the hot water from the same tub you added the bath bomb. Enjoy the wonderfully relaxing fizz of the bomb!

World's best "DYADA"- My daddy the best !~

I've been contemplating for several months now on whether I would share something so deeply personal, but my good internet buddy inspired me with her blog on her dad & here I’m…(I shall with her permission try to post her link)(Ok..got her permission and here goes the link~http://reallifetalks.com/?p=1050) 

This seems ironic, but I actually have a hard time speaking about my feelings. Especially when it comes to my “dyada”…

A father's love is as important to a child’s emotional development as a mother’s. Crucially, a father’s love is often just as important as a mother’s. Few cases, it is even more so. To become a strong, confident woman, a daughter needs her father’s attention, protection, courage, and wisdom...

My father is one of the most influential & important person in my life, from infant to toddler to tween to teen & to adulthood. His influence in my life has shaped my self-esteem, self-image; confidence helped me stand strong in times of strife. My views about the world stands positive still, after all the things I've gone through and made me a more positive person & to look at life with all its beauty.
My mom said the moment dad held me after I was delivered I grabbed onto his thumb, I had him wrapped around my finger ever since. Hehe.. I’m not even sure why, but I've always been a daddy’s girl. My dad is the smartest person I know.  He is a master of all trades and has always done it all.. Make, build, paint, or fix just about anything…

I still ponder on the things he does for me and my sibling, his struggles, his strength, and most of all love for my mother & we both (sisters).Dad’s best gift has been love; more importantly respect for my mother. He showed us what a family is and how a family comes to exist, the bond between the family; the value of a family.

During the pesky hormonal years that can often have dads shying away from their moody and sometimes standoffish daughter, my dad has always been supportive and a guiding light, he gave us our space to understand the ways of the world. When I and my sibling were tween gals, dad focused on cultivating a trusting relationship so that his daughters felt secure talking to him and my mom about what's going on in our lives. 

He also knew my younger sibling was a contrast, she always enjoyed the girly stuff, playing with hair, being around mom, serving food even as a young girl and helping mom. She would stand for long in front of the mirror draping mom’s saree or my duppatta(indian shawl or a long scarf worn by Asian women). 
He has always done things which helped us connect at a better level with him.
As we continued growing into our teens ,fraught with complicated issues, dad continued to work on building a trusting relationship, gave sufficient affection and supported us as we learnt more about who “she” is and what kind of person “she” wants to become, Dad made it imperative that, no matter what, he would avoid the temptation to pull away or withdraw during this sometimes challenging stage of growing up.

When I was ill and serious  during childhood, I remember dad carrying me on his shoulders and running hospital to doctor’s residence to another hospital to another. My dad made me accept facts of life saying if you want sympathy look up the dictionary, don’t look for it in people around you. He made me realize I’m no less than anyone and I could achieve the things I aim at..

Once when we were out dining, along with our family one of my cousins had joined. I ordered all that I felt like and when questioned by my cousin all I said was I would order to my heart’s content when my dad can afford it.. Though dad was happy of the fact that I completely trusted on him, & that he was connecting and making me closer to him, he corrected me saying it was not the way and we aren't allowed to waste anything. He told us of the harsh realities prevailing around us, what hunger is, what people do to satiate the hunger and as to why we shouldn't waste food. He also said, I could have all that I wanted as long as I finish and not waste anything. It’s a lesson I still remember and follow! Till date I don’t prefer to take food onto my plate and waste it. I prefer not take extra serving when not needed..

I love listening to dad’s naughty days as a young lad. I also love it when he reminisces of his younger days or when he and my mom were dating and their courtship days. He goes on for hours and anyone can fall in love with his mystical voice. he sings lovely. This again takes me back to my childhood days when I would just not be satisfied with any number of stories by my mom and dad would put me to sleep with his soothing voice with just 1 story which had no head or tail..but it was just the magic of his voice. till date I can sleep with ease if its my dad's lap..

My dad is one that always makes my day better.  When I came home from school after being made fun of for being the chunky kid, my dad would always state about how pretty, smart, or talented his daughter was. He taught me to take things in a positive stride and to ignore the negativity the world showcased. I’m not sure how I would have made it through my teen years without such a loving dad.  

He always makes people laugh with his corny jokes and would give the biggest bear hugs. My sissy calls him a teddy bear! Couple of days ago when I went to a regular shopping complex the vendor at the shop, told me your dad is superb! he cracks jokes and is really witty,he makes everyone here smile and get on with the day.. I wish I had the funny bone that he has…

The difficult times I've given my parents and the love they have shown me makes me ever grateful to them…(I've been the naughtiest child one could ever think off)..It’s because of my dad I've never felt lonely all through my life. I know I can lean onto this pillar of strength when I have a moment or 2…

My Dad has always been a seeker of a life of integrity and honesty, avoiding hypocrisy and admitting his own shortcomings, so that we (me and my sibling) have a realistic and positive example of how to deal with the world. He modelled a reflective approach to life's big questions so that we could seek to do the same. 

From attending our school festivities to buying me something I wanted the most, no matter how expensive it was. He did see it was important to me. - The video games; all that I asked for & sometimes did not too. He acknowledged me being a gadget freak, way since my childhood. My most unforgettable toy during my growing up years was a mechano set, as a toddler it was a musical panda, a scrabble block set. He realized I was not much into girly things like the kitchen set or the pink stuffs or the dolls. I loved holding dad’s biceps, have even hurt him on instances and got a scolding..  The only girly thing that I enjoyed was tying pony onto my dad’s hair and adding colourful animal and bird clips that were ideally for me. No matter how late he would return from work he knew I would be awake for a long ride with him around the city and without fail would take me around. 

He has always just been a voice away. One single call from me and I've dad by my side. I still remember a time when dad was away on work almost outskirts of the city ; I was out on an errand or to meet couple of friends. By the time I wanted to return to my horror I found my vehicle tyre punctured. Without any forethought I called my dad & told him the scene. Lo! He was there to help me.. He has been my moral support in all my trying times. I can blindly trust him like none other... 

I wish & I’m hoping my dad is  proud of his daughters just like we are proud to have a “dyada” like him…Dyada like none other. I love you Dyada…

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

 Hi fiends off late this is how my day goes how about yours? "P

 This is how it manifests:

 I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,

I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.  

As I start toward the garage,

I notice mail on the porch table that

I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,

put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,

and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back

on the table and take out the garbage first...

But then I think,

since I'm going to be near the mailbox

when I take out the garbage anyway,

I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table,

and see that there is only one cheque left.

My extra cheques are in my desk in the study,

so I go inside the house to my desk where

I find the can of juice I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my cheques ,

but first I need to push the   juice aside

so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The juice is getting warm,

and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the juice,

a vase of flowers on the counter

catches my eye--they need water.

I put the juice on the counter and

discover my reading glasses that

I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,

but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,

fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.

Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,

I'll be looking for the remote,

but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,

so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,

but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,

but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,

get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to

remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

the car isn't washed

the bills aren't paid

there is a warm can of

juice sitting on the counter

the flowers don't have enough water,

there is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

and I don't remember what I did with the car keys

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,

I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all  day,

and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,

and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail....

Do me a favour.

Forward this message to everyone you know,

because I don't remember who I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!   

P. S. I don't remember who sent it to me, so if it was you, I'm sorry...

  

What it feels like…

It sucks to bottle things up inside you…

But it sucks more knowing that when you tell someone something,

They will just sit there and judge you…

It is so hard to open up to someone who’s just curious about what you’re going through in life.

And once the curiosity is satisfied, they just leave you.

Or much worst, they will spread sh*t about you.

Yes, trust is always an issue.

You may find it funny, but for me,

It’s easier to tell things to a complete stranger, because they don’t judge you.

They do listen, and it doesn’t matter if they tell it to the people they know, ’cause they don’t have any idea about who you are, where you came from and what you are going through.

What I really wanna emphasize is that, once you found the person who can be whoever, who are themselves when you’re with them, where you can act stupid, silly and crazy at times yet they still accept you for who you are. Don’t let them go. Cherish them. Value every single moment with them.

It’s not everyday that you meet someone whom you can share every littlest thing in your life.

It’s not every day that you meet someone who cares, who really cares.

It’s not every day that you meet someone whom you can call your FRIEND.

Honestly, I may have few of them, but I know and I am sure that they love me and that they do care for me.

And it is because of them that I consider myself ONE LUCKY PERSON on EARTH.

Previous night when I was SMSing my friend I told him I'm in the process of searching myself and in response he replied back saying if you would want to search yourself look into the hearts of people where you lived and shall always..who love you for all that you are without any pre requisites and conditions..

The truth

Being single is not bad at all. In essence, it doesn't really mean you’re incomplete. But there are just those times that you’ll feel lacking. Those times when the nagging feeling of needing to have a certain someone creeps up at you. There are those hard to avoid moments where you realize you don’t have someone to inform about how your day went, you have no one to stay up late with, you have no one who sends you sweet messages, no one to share your crazy thoughts to, no one to spend simple and special moments with, no one who understands and accepts all your quirks, and you have no one who tells you “I Love You” at any given time of the day. It’s not that much about the loneliness or the fear of being alone. It’s more about trying to reconcile yourself with the fact that out of billions of people in the world, not even one person fought for the right to be with you.

A girl's message-

If you see me walking the road with someone else
It’s not because I like his company
Its because you’re not brave enough to walk
beside me.

If you hear me talking about him all the time
Its not because he pleases me
Its because you’re too deaf to hear my
heartbeat

If you feel me falling with someone new
Its not because I love him
Because you’re not there to catch me fall

If you feel lost, I too am nowhere
I too don’t know where the road is going
Are we gonna cross each other’s path
Or just completely turn around?
Will we just let go of what we had
Or go to the place where love is bound

Don’t let me walk with him
It’s you I want to walk with
Don’t let me talk of him
It’s you I want to talk with
Don’t let me fall for him
It’s you I want to fall in love with.

“HOW THE GUY REPLY”

When you thought I wasn’t brave enough to walk
beside you
I was behind you every step of the way
Still filled with awe because of the beauty
that stands before me

When you thought I was too deaf to hear your
heartbeat I didn’t want to assume anything
And I was afraid to lose our friendship

When you thought I wasn’t there to catch you
It was because you never gave me the chance
You never reached the bottom, you’ve already
grabbed a branch

If you feel like you are nowhere, I too am
lost I too don’t know where the road is going
Are we just going to turn around,
Or are we gonna cross each other’s path?
Will we just let go of what we had
Or go to the place where love is bound?

Don’t let me walk alone
I want to walk by your side
Don’t let me talk of something else
It’s you I want to talk with
Don’t fall for someone else
It’s you I want to fall in love with.

Read a write up...an experience

I read a write up 2 days ago few thoughts on it..

The writer claims it to be his own true experience and I guess most of us go through this phase and experience it at least sometime in life..need not be the exact feelings or may be... read on~ It's a gist 


The story revolves around NAMIT who is a day dreamer, egoistic, and an attention seeker, romance and him are 2 poles apart, afflicted with a bizarre madness and arrogance engulfing him. It is the story of his life which encompasses love, dedication, eccentricity, friendship and overall his discovery of his TRUE LOVE, his soulmate and also the anguish of losing it due to his obstinacy and self-centeredness. It is a repertoire of moments coated with velvetiness of love and bruised by the thorns of betrayal. It highlights the situations which ultimately turn him into a devil, who wants to annihilate the whole world with his impiety, consequences being the least he cares about; and eventually loses his happiness, identity and even himself in this process.

He could neither speak in words, nor could ever pen it down...
The loneliness, the emptiness her absence left behind...
Those moments spent in the warmth of her cuddle Still lingered in a cruel heart...... in a guilty mind!!!
Whenever he dreamt, he saw her so tranquil.. Can he trace the reason for the distance?distance between them both-poles apart :-) ?

I could relate quite a bit having gone through few similar situations..Made me think...so many random thoughts...Spent the day with the same thoughts lingering in my mind..tears wheeling down my cheeks...

Lovers to Friends…

One of the most dangerous things about falling in love is the risk you take knowing that in a moment that someone could no longer be yours. So why do we do it? Why do we open our hearts to feel vulnerable and broken? Because falling in love is a human’s most divine sense of feeling. For some people the love they have never fades. It exists as long as they exist. And when the world tries to invade what they have waited so long to feel, they wrap their fingers around it and never let go. White knuckles, red palm, they never let go. But with that love comes an ache that can never be rid of. It’s that uncontrollable and unstoppable realization that you have no power over the way you feel. You are victim to the sting of love. It hurts as much as it heals. For some, that ache wears on their soul, and they find themselves forgetting why they loved in the first place. They let go, release the tension in their hand, and watch as the very thing they once held dear fades away. So why do we do it? Why do we fall in love? Because even if the person you love gives up on you, even if you give up on the person you love, what has been will never change. The way your heart felt while it did last makes the risk worth it. Never forget what you did have. Maybe one day, you will find each other again. Maybe one day, you’ll both remember why you loved so deeply. Maybe one day, you won’t. But no one can take away what your heart so fondly remembers.


I'm letting it all go.. Some-things can never be forgotten..Few people are in distant memory yet they are there... 


People might give up the dreams woven together, the goals of being together. But then, they know, they gave up for the happiness of each other. 'THEY'gave up. Yes, but they won’t let their weakness destroy whatever  they had made. The relationship they had created. The ‘we’ is just too beautiful to make it fade.


Its again a new beginning...
Goodbye lover..


Hello friend..

Coffee?- lesson

All friends visited a teacher from our schooling days. During our visit, conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in their personal and professional lives.


Offering his students coffee, the teacher went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups -porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite – telling us to help ourselves to the coffee.


When all of us had a cup of coffee in hand, the teacher said,


“Notice that all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups… and then you began eyeing each other’s cups.


Now consider this: Life is the coffee; your job, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life. The type of cup one has, does not define, nor change the quality of Life a person lives. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us.


The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.”


God brews the coffee, not the cups… Enjoy your coffee!


Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Spend time with God over your coffee.


He conveyed it in such a simple manner ! A true teacher - salutations!

LIVE, LOVE and LEARN….

I'm a simple person that craves for serene and quiet moments. I despise pretence and the crowded bars in the Metros. I’d rather stay home and watch TV than stay in those places. I love going out of town to unwind and retreat from the busy city life. I love to read books, especially novels that deal with love and romance,


I am looking forward to meet someone that can take me away and live for a day without any worries, drop what he is doing when I need him, romantic, passionate, caring, understanding and would love me as I am. But I know that this can’t happen because such idealism will just break my heart and would hurt me in the end. That is why I erased these preferences already in mind for I know that they only appear at the night screen and in fantasy to fulfil my fancy. I’m open for any conversation that may tickle my fancy and bond with you. I despise pretence, what you see is what you get from me. And mind you, I don’t put my best foot forward in meeting other people, and I don’t believe in the saying, " First impression last forever. " Anybody can wear their best smile and fool the world of being nice but it would take time to know a person well.


When you’re out there looking for that perfect person, keep these things in mind. People change, no matter how hard they try not to. As you grow older you mature, and with each new level of maturity comes different ideas, different needs and wants. The person who was perfect for you at twenty could be the person you hate when you’re thirty-five. You have to find some one who will grow with you, change with you, laugh with you and cry with you. A person who fills in where you lack , a person whom you can fill in for when they are lacking. But what about the perfect person, you ask? They do not exist. Even the person you’re with was not perfect because the perfect person in your dreams was supposed to stay with you forever. There are no perfect people, only people who are perfect for each other. You deserve to be happy not in the arms of someone who keeps you waiting but in the arms of someone who will take you now, love you forever and leave you never.


Sometimes we ask ourselves why love leaves us when we have given so much of ourselves that there is little left for us to start all over again. A lot of us have built dreams with people we hoped would be with us forever only to realize that there is nothing permanent in this world. Love comes and goes. People share their lives with us and leave us. Life is a constant cycle of finding and losing, of making and breaking, of dying and living again. When our heart dies, it stops beating. But love is different. Don’t believe that love ends permanently even when we feel that love has died. It would only go into deep slumber and could one day be awakened by someone who could unlock our hearts. Always remember that in life, there are no mistakes, only lessons learned. In loving, there should be no regrets, only the appreciation of the joy we had. There is a time when life stops and when loves ends. But, we don’t have to stay in one place forever. Our life should move on even when everything else around us makes us feel that it shouldn’t. For there can only be happiness when we stop living in the past. Love will only find its way back when we give others the chance to share little of themselves with us. We might be miserable now, but there always would be someone out there who could ease the pain and bitterness in our hearts that had kept us from daring to love again


Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we love, we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own concerns. Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words, for you will find rewarding happiness not with the man you love but the man who loves you more.


The best lovers are those who are capable of loving from a distance, far enough to allow the other person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your being. To let go of someone doesn’t mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart.


Do not let the bitterness rare away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather lets you grow with wisdom. You may find peace in just loving someone from a distance not expecting anything in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful moments or sad memories of the past but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is- today.


There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship… don’t be so bitter about it! For it is a kind of FRIENDSHIP that will last for a LIFETIME!!! We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves.


You don’t have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don’t let your heart run your life, be sensible, and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well.


Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow: If you lose love that doesn’t mean that you failed in love. Cry, if you have to, but make sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you.


And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime. "When I lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more. For someday I can love someone the way that I loved you but you will never be loved again the way that I did."


"If you love me, let me know; if you don’t, let me go…"

Choose Happiness: Coping With Broken Tiles

Yesterday night couple of friends gathered at out home.  We focused on the broken tile syndrome.  This concept is based on the fact that our eyes may be more focused on a broken or missing tile in some great mosaic versus appreciating the larger work.  Oftentimes we do the same in our lives – focus on what’s missing versus what we do have.


Once you determine your broken or missing tiles, then what?  Dennis Prager, in his book, Happiness Is A Serious Problem, tells us that we have three options:  Get It, Forget It or Replace It.


Get It  I shared with the group that one of my missing tiles is that I have a need to write a book(a cookery book or say owning a restau).  It is something I have postponed for many years and it continues to weigh on me.  This is something I feel very strongly that I need to do.  Whether or not it gets published is not important, but the mere fact that I can complete it and make the effort to get it published is enough.  I already have the idea in place, however it calls for action


Forget It   I lost my grandparents parents(maternal as well as paternal)couple of years ago.  There is nothing I can do to bring them back, so although those are two huge(maternal 1 and paternal 1) missing tiles in my life, I have to forget it.  Not to forget them.  I never will.  I have come to accept that the best I can do is to carry their legacy forward, to honor their memories and if I can be half the woman my grandmom(maternal) was nothing like it...


Replace It   John Walsh, the host of America’s Most Wanted, came into his role in finding criminals after his son, Adam, was kidnapped and murdered in Florida.  He turned that tragedy into something to help others by creating legislation to protect children and to help law enforcement find criminals.


What we all friends realized is that in talking for 90 minutes or so we learned so much about each other. I hope a number of us identified some broken tiles and will find the time to determine how best to address them to help increase our happiness.  May you think about your own broken tiles and do the same.




Stay Happy My Friends!

Choose Happiness: Love And The Power Of No

A Friend sent me an e-mail earlier this week or the later part of previous week.  Thanks!  It listed 45 items which a 90 year old had shared as life lessons with a local newspaper.  I like many, differ with a few and would clarify a few others.  Number 38 stated: All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.  I disagree.  I am no ogre, I do believe in the power of love without a doubt.  However, I profess that in the end all that matters is that you did good.  Not just that you intended to do good, as the result is truly important.


At home this translates into all younger generation getting a healthy dose of ‘no’. All of us(cousin's, their kids,my siblings,) will attest to the fact they are truly loved by both parents and the whole family in general.  They will also attest that they don’t always get their wish or demand.  In many instances, they have to earn much of what they get.  The goal is to create good men & women.  This requires that they be prepared to handle life’s onslaught when it is their time to face the difficult path of life.  They must experience some setbacks and frustrations now in order to learn how to cope in the future.  We also instil in them to do good, not just feel good.  They know that when they don’t carry themselves as they are expected to, there are consequences – lost privileges, monetary loss, having to listen to respective mom's and elders expound on the error of their ways, etc.


This same rule applies to me.  I can’t be an ideal or an example to the younger kids, the power of ‘no’ if I get everything I want.  The argument can be made that it truly is ‘my money’ when I need something.  That argument will win the day, however, if it’s just a matter of who owns the finances, then the message is clear: when you’re older you can do as you well please.  That’s not it.  We as individuals must say no to what we want on a regular basis.  It’s called self control.  It applies to any facet of life.Ah, that doesn't mean you stop your medications and most important things to your life like my hubby used to frequently tell me : you stop taking those medicines you would be better(Any & all kinda meds).It doesn't work that way. Wants need to hear a 'No'than needs.


‘No’ appears counterintuitive to our belief in pursuing happiness.  However, life will tell us ‘no’ many times and we must be able to accommodate that within our overall pursuit of happiness.  Go out and do good!  Oh heck, throw lots of love around too!!


Stay Happy My Friends!

Choose Happiness: My Pepper Tree Of Hope

We moved into our house about 6 years ago.  The spring after moving in, we did some work on our yard beside our home.  This included purchasing pepper tree.  My granny went with me to the nursery and helped me pick it out. We had a similar tree in our backyard at our previous home so this was the connection.  I grew up hanging upside down from that tree, with the requisite warnings from my mom to get down lest I break my neck! :D


For a few years our new tree did well.


Post monsoon 08 my granny quietly left us all...


A few summers ago our pepper tree appeared to succumb to a brutal summer.  Limb by limb it too apparently would quietly yield to the elements. When I cut the last dry branch I went back to nursery and looked for a new tree.  I explained to the arborist that I needed to replace my tree.  He asked whether there were any green shoots.  I affirmed that there were, though they were small.  He said it was always sad to give up on a tree.  Perhaps I should see if these new shoots would take.


The pepper tree is now a little larger than when we first purchased it. The buds which survived have now grown into strong branches.  Hope has won out.  I have cared for the tree all these years and have brought it back.  The work continues, but the tree remains.


I recall that our tree back in my parents’ house also went through some problems.  A plague cursed through its rings which, unlike Saturn’s, I know these marked time.


This is the season of hope.  Keep hope alive.  Assure that it’s grounded hope, not just hope beyond hope, as this may lead to desperation.


Stay Happy My Friends!