Lonely..I'm so lonely...

She Has Secrets You'll Never Know Or Understand
She Appears So Strong On The Outside
But On The Inside Her World Is Spinning Upside Down
Shes Smiling And Standing Tall 2 The Outer World..
Shes Crying And Breaking Down In Her Inner World
She Appears So Happy 2 Her Mates,But Alone
She Shares Her Tears With Her Pillow.She Knows Not 2 Get Her Hopes Up
As They Always Come Crashing Down.Shes Heard It All Before & Felt It All ...
Shes Experienced More Than Her Fair Share.1 Touch,&
She'll Flinch 1 Harsh,Word & She'll Cry 1 Bad Moment, &
She'll Break Down She Trusts No1,because,
The People She Has,Hurt Her & Left Her 2 Pick Up The Pieces.
She Believes No1, Because The People She Has, Lied & Betrayed Her,
So For Now She'll Keep 2 Herself & Pretend Everything Is Fine,
When Everything Is Wrong.I Know This Girl, Because This Girl...Is Me.

"TRUST ME..I don't have the courage to Lie to YOU"

REACTIONS TO THE STOCK MARKET CRASH

THE STOCK market roller coaster has left many people dazed and confused, if not broke. Hindustan Times decided to ask some of the finest minds around about what they thought of the crash, boom, bang on the BSE.

MANEKA GANDHI: What did you expect! I have it from reliable sources that those stupid brokers had been running a bull market, alternating it with a bear market. Disgusting! Serves them right.

BAL THACKERAY: It's providence. The government should have renamed the BSE the Chhatrapati Shivaji Stock Exchange. Fits in nicely in the area too, since it's pretty close to the Chhatrapati Shivaji Vaastu Sangrahalaya [the museum, in case you didn't know] and the Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus.

MALIKA SHERAWAT: It's the Sen-sex, after all. So it goes up and down, up and down, up and down...

ARJUN SINGH: The HRD Ministry is proposing a 27 per cent reservation on the 30-share index for penny stocks, since they may be considered backward. The current 'correction' is nothing but a manifestation of years of neglect of such shares.

EKTA KAPOOR: Rename it Ksensex.

SHAYAN MUNSHI: I saw nothing, I heard nothing, I don't even speak Hindi.

ESHA DEOL: Sen? Sex? Isn't that the story of my latest movie, Ankahee?

SALMAN KHAN: Let's just shoot those damn bears!

LALU PRASAD YADAV: Kya bole? Bull bhaag gaye? Arre, hamaare paas bahut hai, ek do Le jaaon. As it is, Nitish Kumar has taken over our bungalow and we have nowhere to keep them.

MANMOHAN SINGH: We're introducing a bill making it illegal for the Sensex to fall below the 10,500-point mark. Brokerages are, after all, offices of profit.

BILL CLINTON: Sen-sex? I did not have sex-ual relations with that woman, Miss Sen.

GEORGE W. BUSH: Let's bomb the BSE!

Akshaya thrithiya

Akshaya thrithiya falls on the May 16th of 2010.Its called Akkha Teej by the North Indians and is widely celebrated day in the year all over India.It falls on the third day after amavasya in the month of "Vaishaka" in shukla paksha(which is the waxing phase of moon).It is said both Sun and moon are best placed on this day.It is such an auspicious day that it is said there is no need to look for muhurat on that particular day as every second is auspicious.Akshaya in sanskrit means"that which never diminishes.It is the most ideal day to make new beginnings and make investments.Sri Parushurama Jayanti is also observed on this day.There are many legends associated with this day-

1. Pandavas received the Akshaya Pathram (a bowl in which anything placed will never diminish) from Lord Krishna (in the Mahabharata) on this day.

2.It is believed sage Vyasa invoked Lord Ganesha to start the beginning of composition of the most celebrated hindu epic- The bharatha(Mahabharatha)

3.Sudhama(lord krishna's childhood friend) visiting lord Krishna with a handful of beaten rice(hence in hindu tradition people do not visit anyone without carrying an eatable to anybody's house specially if there are kids in the visitor's house.

4.Goddess Annapoorna was born on the auspicious day

5.Lord Shiva came down from the kailash parvatha in form of a beggar to accept the bhiksha(alms) from the goddess Annapoorna


6.Kubera, the Banker in heaven, also got his position on Akshaya Tritiya.

Also in the puranas there is a description of a particular story associated with a merchant.here it goes-

During the ancient times,
there was a merchant who was so poverty-stricken that he found
it difficult to afford even one square meal a day. However,
he was intensely religious and noticing his
devotion the elders explained to him the greatness of Akshaya Tritiya.
The poor merchant decided to follow their advice.

On an Akshaya Tritiya day, he woke up at dawn,
bathed and offered food, water, sugarcane juice, milk and money to poor Brahmins.
he followed all the necessary austerities as advised by the
elders. Due to his sincere efforts, he was born as Kushapathy Chakravarthy in his next birth,
say the Puranas.

This day is very blessed for your departed ancestors. You can yourself do a ritual offering on this day before sunset. Place black sesame seeds and rice or rice powder on your right palm. Pour water over the items. Think of your departed ancestors and offer the rice powder and sesame. After this ritual, discard the material. This will do a lot of good for you.

Rain and My feelings

It’s been raining for quite a spell now. But like most people I know, I’m loving it. I don’t exactly know what about the rain that I really like. I’m sure it’s not the science or the technicalities behind it nor the possible dangers it brings along. None of that. It’s a couple of other things. It’s probably the clear pool of water a heavy downpour leaves in its wake in flower pots or hollowed portions of the ground after the stirred up soil and mud have settled at the bottom. Its neither the gloominess,the dullness it brings after its stopped raining, Or the sense of newness and freshness that leaves of trees and plants invoke after a drizzle. the dew drops on the tender leaves..A few drops that fell on my cheek dripping down to my lips as I brushed my lips with my tongue..It could also be the cascading of rainwater on windowpanes that harks at the sentimental in me - like it does to broken hearted people in movies - or the steady pattering on rooftops that lulls me to reverie.
I wish it would rain again tonight. It has such a calming and soothing effect on me. Whatever I'm thinking or feeling gradually dissolves all through my body. And the smell. Soooo intoxicating. The "Earth's Scent" is what I lovingly call rain. I feel a relation between my emotions and rain :-) deep relation !













Tonight I really could use some rain. I hurt sooo bad but my screams must not be heard. My soul is gasping for anything to hold on to. Is anyone out there? I'm slowly becoming a gradient and fading into the background. Would anyone even notice if I disappear?

Rain Rain come Along-Random thoughts !

Wow Wondering why is it that it only rains in the evening and goes on to rain all thru the night in Bangalore.The heat this year was sooo unbearable.Though better than the other cities in India it seems as though weather had taken an oath to drain out sweat from everyone including few lazy ones like me..but wow i'm soooo delighted with the sudden change in weather today though quite unexpected ! Its hailing stones -can you believe i'm collecting few and eating them too :P.

Morning I made few potato papads looking at the scorching sunlight but utterly disappointed since it didn't dry up completely..but thats ok this was needed(Rain).Have been seeing parents struggle for water day in and out.I don't understand why be in such a posh area when you don;t even get regular drinking water? :-( BBMP has been at its worst.Electricity a daily problem our tenants suffer big time :P though we are spared becoz of inverter.Poor gals down there cant charge their lappys :P but as the song goes ....Alll izzz welll...Am happy (Dil idiot hai pyar se usko samjhana)

Life's ups and down's since last 3 years of my life

2008 was a happy happy sort of year when I lived life careless, or simply said, freaked out. It was a breezy year full of nice nice things, mostly.
I could take life for granted and live it as it comes. It is probably not because I was very composed, but because life was pretty interesting and full of happenings. I was engaged and was going to get married in the month of April.
I usually knew that every tomorrow is likely to be as good a day as today. The whole year, from the very first day, till almost the very last day, lasted happily.
Despite the fact that granny's health deteriorated after the bypass & she passing away in November end, i consoled my myself or may be it had not sink-ed into me that she was no more there to shout at me and she had left me and gone.....
during the time i took to realize her absence i was a little distracted with a pleasantness within me as i was awaiting Amit's arrival from Turkey and the dream of setting up "MY HOME"
The year 2009 begun with a sense of loss.I started missing my granny's presence again despite the fact that Amit had come back to me and we planned on our home sweet home and set it up
The assured days will no longer be. Sometimes it feels like being carried to a cold and windy place and then being left along there; like walking on the banks of a beautiful river, and suddenly slipping into the cold water. I managed to stay cheerful. I expect me to remain so in the coming days and thanks to my job that kept me cheerful through the difficult phase of my life.
I always wished the days stayed like the year 2008.
The arrival of 2010 seemed to bring in a hope to see a cooler atmosphere with all beautiful things my way but alas! amit is again leaving abroad for 3 months.My job hunt is on with full force, now that I need distraction.Hoping to find a good one at the earliest.Thats a priority now, since we are done with the shifting back to mom's place and a trip to yercaud.
May be somethings happen just to keep you on your toes, and might eventually turn good.

2 most important things !

After Shankranthi I met a relative of our's whom myself and Amit both admire and look upto.He is a very down to earth person (I refrain from naming him-for obvious reasons) highly qualified,He coaches IAS students and is a scientist too.

while talking to him the other day he told me a story which somehow left an impression on my mind so here it goes-

Once upon a time there was a head of a village too rich and very respectable in society.He had a beautiful daughter for whom he was looking out for a groom.It is said in our scriptures there ought to be 62 gunas(essentials) for a person to get into the wedlock, there is a middle man who brings a proposal after lot of shortlisting and tells the head of the village that it was too difficult for him to look for a groom with 62 gunas still he managed to find one with 60 gunas and asked if it would be acceptable to the head.He also adds if you delay your daughter would lose out on her age and beauty.The head hesitantly agrees and asks what are the 2 gunas which he thinks are missing in the prospective groom,now the middleman is scared and says 1* he doesn't have a listening ear 2*he does things that he feels and pleases him and things that hold good to him

Then the head says i'm fine even if my daughter is unmarried all her life but the most important thing for a man are these 2 qualities and I shall not negotiate with these two qualities.It is these 2 qualities if missing the rest 60 are of no use and that he would not like to compensate with it.

So for any human its these 2 things that matter a lot to make him a good human.

make a difference-Its you who does it !

A couple of days earlier I used to have too many ups and downs,my mood swings were too much for a human to take,its considerably reduced,that made me introspect what was it that made a change?A change to better moods and less of ups and downs,not that its(my introspection and understanding) completely changed my life but its certainly made a difference-

I was in front of my desktop,& forwarding a joke. I smiled to myself even as I was sending the joke. I imagined my friends smiling too. Guess one of them did, Coz he replied immediately “Good one, pal!”. I'm not the one who made up the joke, but I almost felt as if I did. Ah, that makes me open many of the unread mails in my inbox. I find many nice jokes in those. Very soon I have a cleaned up inbox. What an accomplishment! Something I had planned for the last one week is finally over.

Many times I fail to find this zest within me ! May be the following incidents are common in almost everyone of our life's..who makes the difference on certain days while the others tend to get termed the not so happening day?? read on-

You open the door only to find two leaking milk packets at your feet. The milkman sucks.. is what you would have normally said. Not today. Not now. You’re in too good a mood to get mad at him. You decide to spare your wife of the agony as well. You want to give her break. Let’s give her a surprise, you think. You hate making tea, but today is different. You make tea and toast the bread as well. Which wife wouldn’t want a husband who does that? An early morning thank you kiss is all you need to keep going.You made a difference to the life of the one you love the most along with your's...things happen, but its our choice to choose to react.(As human beings, we were endowed by our Creator with the power of choice. It is one of the factors that differentiate persons from animals.)

You haven’t been going to the gym all month. Too much of work you see. Not today. Just do it, you say. “I’m doing it and I’m doing it NOW.” The gym is one busy place. The hunks, the babes, the nerds, the dudes, they’re all there. Workouts are tiring. That’s what you feel – till you see that huge guy who looks at least 8-10 pounds lesser! You saw him when you came to the gym last month, didn’t you? Wow, what a change! It keeps you going. You put in that extra 20 minutes. Ah, now your metabolism’s up and so is your spirit. A nice cold shower is all you need.You made a difference to the most important being-yourself !

What a fresh feeling! Out comes your special deo. Now you smell good too. A quick polish to your shoes. A crispy linen shirt. And a bold red tie. Office is an hour away. The bus is crowded as usual. And stinks too. But it doesn’t bother you. You’re feeling way too good to let it. The 45 minute ride is over in an instant. Thank you iPod, you say as you head for office.

It looks like something’s different. Everyone seems to be in a good mood. Including your boss! And there are two thank you notes on your desk as well. Wow, that feels good. It’s not that your work life isn’t stressful. Sometimes it’s killing! Not today. Today is different. That big ugly job you procrastinated on, all of last week gets over in a jiffy. So do the three other things you had planned to complete “next week”. You bump into the M.D. at lunchtime. He tells you you’re wearing a smart shirt! You suddenly feel the expensive linen was worth it!Sometimes it feels nice to spend too :P

Strangely you finish your work on time today. And you leave at 6 o’clock. Just as planned. Wife’s meeting you at the supermarket, you see. Your ten year old son’s lost the raincoat you bought him last week.. and he needs a new one right away! “It happens” you say. “Chill” you tell him, even as he seems a bit surprised!

The evening turns out to be as fabulous as the day so far. Video games at the mall. Some fresh, vegetarian food for a change. Some healthy, corn salad. An unusual peace in the house is what you sense. Your son’s actually behaving well, your wife’s only telling you the good things that happened to her today, you even get time to read one more chapter of the novel you started reading.

It’s now time to check the inbox one more time before you retire to bed. Nothing like a clean inbox and just the one new mail. A joke it is. One that really tickles you. You feel good, just how you’ve felt all day. What a wonderful day it was! Wonder what made it so wonderful?

As you fall asleep, it dawns upon you in your sub-conscious. It wasn’t the day that was different. It was you.