31 May 2009

Time together


it might pay to revolutionise it around for a moment,In order to get at the nucleus of this relationship question
Is there such a thing as not so healthy time spent together? For most couples, the answer is yes.
There is a distinct line between time spent profitably and time which can actually cause bad feelings and discord.
But where is that line, and how can one better half know if that line has indeed been crossed?
This is where open communication becomes essential.

Time spent together as a couple should be profitable to both.
Couples just starting a new relationship may want to spend every spare minute together,
which may sound unhealthy to outsiders but both are getting and receiving the intimacy they crave.
As long as you and your partner feel this bond growing stronger,
the linear time spent together should be viewed as healthy or unhealthy.

There’s a lot going on during those first few weeks or months of a romantic relationship,
so society’s rules rarely apply.
Don’t be afraid to spend as much time together as possible during the earliest stages of a promising relationship.

And i suppose am done with all my preachings, hmm does it sound any different??but trust me all this is not all that easy when one goes through it all...

29 May 2009

The big "R" and you

A very popular result of recession is depression wherein The Great Depression during the 1930s is recalled. In this article though, “depression” simply refers to the mental state anyone would have when they are faced with tough problems.

Anyone could easily end up being depressed. The reasons may vary – family problems, relationship problems or even work related problems. The human mind can easily cope up with different challenges but they are only up to a point. There will be a time that a human mind cannot cope up with the challenges and would just give up.

Depression could easily set in during this economic period since work, business and other source of income is at stake. When a person loses the ability to earn to support his way of life, panic could be an immediate reaction and when hopelessness is realized, depression could set in.

Depression is never a good thing. When you are depressed, everything is gloomy and you will never be able to think straight on what to do. Even if you do have a job and have a gloomy feeling about it, you end up unable to concentrate on what you need to do to perform.

Instead of being productive, you become a burden for the company which wants to survive. You get terminated not because the company has to sacrifice jobs but you were not really performing well.

28 May 2009

Perception


An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing," on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."

The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."


"There really are fundamental differences in the way men and women process information...Women tend to process more extensively more different pieces of information...Men tend to rely more on mental shortcuts..."


In one study mentioned, a group of people were brought to a room and later asked to remember various items there. It happened that women had much better memory for details than did men. Men might remember the big picture of an office like the location of a desk or bookshelf. But women would remember more intimate details like a vase of flowers in the corner, or a picture of a husband and wife on a book case.

This begs the question "Are women smarter than men?" There is no simple Yes or No: the answer seems rooted in human evolution.

Men and women had to face different pressures as each adopted to their own specialized social roles. Men had to become the more aggressive hunters and compete with other men. They had to process information quickly, perhaps more quickly than females. Biochemical studies have even shown a more "jittery" neural response from men.

Research suggests that in women, the two spheres of their brains communicate better than do men's. Studies show that women pull in information from both halves. This allows women to give a more sophisticated emotional response. Thus, women are better at talking about their emotions and reading subtleties.

Strength and Beauty

Came across these wonderfully written words could relate so well to it since I thoroughly believe in it.Wishing life is this ideal always -

Strength of a Man :

The strength of a man isn't seen in the width of his shoulders.
It is seen in the width of his arms that encircle you.
The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice.
It is in the gentle words he whispers.

The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has.
It is how good a buddy he is with his kids.
The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work.
It is in how respected he is at home.
The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits..
It is in how tender he touches.

The strength of a man isn't how many women he's Loved by.
It is in can he be true to one woman.
The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift.
It is in the burdens he can understand and overcome.

Beauty of a Woman :

The beauty of a woman
Is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure she carries,
Or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman
Must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman
Is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman
Is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows,
The beauty of a woman
With passing years-only grows.

Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman, but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man.

Happiness all the way- but how?

Its so simple and still many haven’t got it. One of the reasons many among us are unhappy is because
they are busy aspiring to meet the definition of happiness set by others, set by people around them, set by society,
set by family, by overall past and present conditioning. Once you accept the difficult part, it gets to be very simple.
And the difficult part is becoming aware of the golden truth that what suits somebody else, need not, in fact is not,
expected to suit you.

If all of us were to fulfill one goal, then God would have made replicas, not human beings.
But, we were fashioned as people with character, not cloning capabilities.
Individuality indeed is a very remarkable thing.

If you can cut all the noise around you and about you and above you,
if you can ignore expectations other than the ones you have of your own self,
if you can close your ears to demands other than those made upon you by your own intellect,
if you can listen with obedience only to the wishes of your parents(I suspect that they are reasonable and in turn, respectful of your wishes),
if you can bravely follow your calling(you gotta find it!) and define your own definition of paradise on earth,
YOU CAN HAVE IT

These three words have been my guide: decorticate(for the uninitiated it means pare down), prioritize, pursue

To someone else, success at work is a big thing; it need not be to you.
May be it even is part of his or her life’s plan to etch out an elaborate existence;
it is not what you are ordained to do.
Marriage suits some, it needn’t suit you. Relationships suit some, may be not you.
If your work is consuming your life and you’re feeling abused; opt out.
Get a jobby, yes that’s a job which is also your hobby.

Life is too short. Do what you’re meant to do,
walk the walk you’re meant to walk, you might not know what you want,
but at least you know what you don’t want in your life and that’s a good start.
If there is unrest, if there is a feeling of I-don’t-know-why-I’m-feeling-lousy-but-I-am,
then listen to your life because it is trying to tell you something.
Discord is a healthy symptom, don’t brush it aside. If you’re miserable even though you “have everything”,
acknowledge your misery.

This is only a wake-up call for the next step that you are meant to be taking and are delaying.
Do not delay….Not anymore. You’re down here for a purpose, find it, fulfill it and have fun along the way.
Find your heart because the heart is all you have. Beyond the clinical aspects of its walls and arteries and beats and
rhythms, the human heart is the compass of the spirit.
The heart has reasons because the reasons are there to lead you to where you have to go.

The heart knows-fully, frankly and fearlessly knows-what your mind, society, your friends think they know.
Let it or they fall on the side. Listen. Just listen to your heart.

Set yourself free even as you live your life because upon setting yourself free will the
realness of your spirit come back to lodge in your life.

And once it happens, it will be happiness all the way.

A prayer within my mind:


Give me strength to get through what is happening at the moment. I am so fragile right now.
I wish I knew how to not become so depressed by it all. I am trying the best I can to not self injure. It's hard though.
Please God, give me the strength to get through all this.

The Lover in me~

It was never about wanting to be right or better than anyone else, or something akin to prejudice for knowing what someone did (or was going to do)
before they did it. I just happen to be around long enough to know what life does to people,
how it can erode the soul and what choices have to be made to prevent from sliding into that kind of despair.

You see, I know the truth, I know there isn't a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow,
I know there is no great love, or prince charming-probably a little late knowing this fact!.
No happy ending with shimmering gold and pale pure skin, or
singing birds or nonsensical words like tweets,I know none of it is real.

But the lover in me would ever settle for such an ugly cold truth, and that's what separates us for them.
You see, if true love isn't real, it becomes my job to make it real. That is why I write poems, letters, stories.
That is why I'm not scarred to set it off, or to partake in an Action. If true love isn't real, it's my job to make it real.
To make it into physical substance, something you can touch, feel, hold. As a lover I know what I'm up against, the countless faces that have been beaten down, settled for less. I know what life will do to you when you lose your spirit. And though we stand odds for my mere words and existence, I'll never belive love doesn't live.

I am here, you just forgot.

27 May 2009

Suffer...ING


Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. At least this is what they say.
But how do I separate the two is something I have wondered when I have been in pain.
Is it being masochistic and simply wishing away the pain and suffering?
It is so easy to say things, to expect people to behave in a certain way.
But when it comes to yourself, the implementation can be hard (to say the least!).
Is it OK to be weak sometimes? To get down on my kness and cry like a baby and ask "God, why?"..
Is it OK if I cannot smile back at you and cannot be the "pillar of strength" you always see me as?
Is it OK even if I don't shed tears"? Is it human? Do I say that to justify the pain and the suffering?
Is it OK to die...
The God-damned pain just wont go, the ache near the heart just continues.
Is suffering really optional (as they say)? Beats me..

.................................

Yesterday everything was just going on too well for me.
Yet I could feel that something was amiss.......
something which I could not figure out myself either.
I wondered that since everything has been going on so well then why is that empty feeling surfacing again and again.
I have noticed that even if all is going on so perfect around me and I even have my share of fun and frolic,
still by the end of the day I feel gloomy. Why? What is it that I am missing so much.
I have friends, work, family members, movies to watch, music to listen to...
Anyways, not going off the track.......
as I talked to this friend about his loneliness and encouraging him,
I was myself feeling so discouraged deep within that I just could not control my tears afterwards.....
I had to cry it out lest accumulating it inside.
I have cocooned myself and radiate an aura of coldness so that no one sees what is going on within me.
I am scared of anyone venturing inside and see the real me.
Even my loneliness surprises me at times as if it is the only friend that I am left with.

But at least it is there with me to comfort me as I slowly drift away in the stillness of the night and wait for the dreams to ride me high...............

Relationships

I was talking to my friend and it is not unusual for us to have long pointless chats that last for hours…..
The other day however we ended up having a deep conversation. Topic of discussion: Relationships. In today's time relationships are becoming more fragile. Why?

It left me thinking...N two reason crop up in my Mind:

1. We are more aware of what is right or wrong... If I am not compatible with someone, I'll not stay in such a relationship…
I need to be mentally and intellectually challenged to be in a relationship…In olden times (i.e. the previous generation) people stuck around with one another, irrespective of the fact whether they were happy together or not.. 'Compromise' was the key word there… Divorce was taboo!! Making a decision about choosing your own life partner wasn't completely acceptable… Times started changing(urban India to be specific)…. We have a choice- we can walk out of a relationship and start over again. Though its difficult to pick up the pieces, still...

2. People don't wait around to see if things could work out (It doesn't mean being stuck in an abusive relationship or relation not based on equality)…
Compromise is a bad word only if one of the partners is bending his/her back…
To make any relation work, you need to accept the whole package...
Everyone has his/her quirks and you need to live with them…
Leaving the lights on, left open news papers may irritate you but they are not an earth shattering events…
What matters is the integrity of the person, faithfulness, trust and ability to deal with situations and stick around in tough
times… We live in a real world with real people.

Films, books and media in general, project an 'ideal happy relation'……
Perfect parents, friends,kids, jobs, partners etc…
Behind every successful relation, is a lot of hard work and some amount of compromise!!

Compromise only if you don't lose yourself in a relation……
'Two become One' is a sweet notion but you can't be a shadow of the other…
You need to be the mirror and retain your individuality!!! Wat say guys?

25 May 2009

Smell the Roses

Reflecting over the weekends on myriad things that occupy my mind.
And during my rides one of the things i notice is the sound of the breeze,
the birds, the fragrances of the new buds..
and i think to myself..do i need to be on a beach or a park ONLY to stop and smell the roses?
I often used to try to recollect a poem, we had in school..Leisure by W. H Davies..

Leisure

WHAT is this life if, full of care,We have no time to stand and stare?—
No time to stand beneath the boughs,And stare as long as sheep and cows:
No time to see, when woods we pass,Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass:
No time to see, in broad daylight,Streams full of stars, like skies at night:
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,And watch her feet, how they can dance:
No time to wait till her mouth can Enrich that smile her eyes began?
A poor life this if, full of care,We have no time to stand and stare.

How true...and along the same lines...Recd this very interesting mail from a friend.

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousand of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk. A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars. Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats average $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of an social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people.

The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour:
Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context? One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

hmmmmmm

you spend more time thinking about what to have for dinner than it takes to eat it....or even prepare it :P

If quitters never win and winners never quit, who the fool that said ? "Quit while you're ahead"?

Jack and Jill need a marriage counselor......

Random thoughts 2

"Wise men stand behind me, Brave men stand beside me, only Fools stand against me....." :P

If we live in the present....then how long does the present last..

Y R Coins round??...Ah I remember the 5 Ps coins that were diamond in shape :P and the hexagonal 20 Ps coins. the curvaceous 10Ps coins ...hmmmm

Get a life :|

Have you ever thought about why we can think? I have. . . these are the questions that keep me up at night. . .

Just an adult though : Y do men have nipples :P

i normally do...talk to myself...less arguments...lol :P

Love is only worth having if you are loved for who you are

"and the final countdown......" playing in my head right now........

Random Thoughts.....

... you hold up so well under stress, you deal with sadness, you manage to suppress your emotions and swallow your tears, but at the merest hint of sympathy and kindness the dam breaks?


... when you have typed the wrong word but the correct word is almost exactly the same as the wrong word but only that the last two letters are different, your fingers backspace over the entire wrong word and retype almost exactly the same letters again? Why are you not satisfied with only fixing the last two letters?


... dentists try to carry on a conversation with you, when you are lying there with your jaw propped open, a latex sheet stretched across the chasm and the drill bit is going full speed? When try as you might, you cannot bring the necessary parts of your mouth together to reply, to agree or disagree?

22 May 2009

marriage not worth it

Although marriage as a lifestyle is beloved by many, matrimony isn't for everyone. There are many who believe that living together is a viable alternative and cohabitation is encouraged.whats the fun in getting married?its all blown out of proportion its just the curiosity that gets us into marriage.Its all a big big hype.Harmony,Love,Happiness is all just bull shit.Its just waste of emotions.You think someone would truly be worth all the love you have for them?no one is that valuable take it from me..Men are not worth the trust the love the affection the adoration - nothing nothing at all....

21 May 2009

Teen Dreams

As a teenager and infact even off late i always loved the christian bride's wear ! It was all soo fanciful and delightful to dream about the hairdo and the long veil..oh wow !I used to fancy many a idea of them i tried to jot down a couple of them My marriage day dreams :P

It’s a ‘ribbons and bows’ dream to travel in a fancy car on your wedding day. But what about doing it a little differently?

Romantic Victorian horse-drawn carriage is just right for me - the who wanted a classic fairytale wedding. After all, if Cinderella could have a shimmering, beribboned carriage drawn by frosty white horses, why can’t I was all I ever asked myself?

Limousine........ eeeee Imagine it - you are a movie star arriving at the kalyan mantap :P in a sleek stretch limousine, complete with red carpet, a complimentary bottle of bubbly and a skilled chauffeur- you know the short stout kinda ones ?? to see that you get there on time! Your limo will also be decorated in ribbons to match your colour scheme.

Harley Davidson...hmmm.. For the rebel without a cause, a trip on a Harley may be just what you need to get your day off to a flying start! I am not an avid biker, hence couldn't choose the self-drive option, but a billowing bride in a ball-gown, i'd probably need to choose the chauffeur-driven ‘hog’ with sidecar.

Funny isn't it?You see it was all the asar I had of films casted upon me the great myself :P hehehehe

I never got any of these but a traditional 3 days Hindu marriage tiring the bride and groom to sleep and nothing else :P I still end up questioning myself..was i really meant get the traditional marriage and not my dream marriage?? atleast it wasn't that IMPOSSIBLE..

Does absence really make heart grow fonder?

Both partners are young, recently married, healthy…but both are miles apart. Not in the emotional separation that signals a problem marriage, but in the sheer physical distance that sometimes separates couples who have to live in different cities due to their jobs being at different locations.

This can be such a tough situation to handle that it ranks high on the list of stress factors for marriage. And yet, many thousands of couples have to endure separation before they can somehow set up home together again.Whether it is a couple where the husband has decided to work in the Gulf leaving wife and child behind at home, or a couple in two transferable government jobs struggling to move authorities for a common posting, or a couple of software engineers who are often working on projects at distant locations – the phenomenon of the absent spouse does affect many marriages around us. Some jobs, like being in the merchant navy, also mean that a husband will be away at sea for long periods, while others in the armed forces mean not only that a partner will be away, but his or her personal safety will also be continuously at risk.

I was married and my husband had to leave for an overseas appointment at Europe on the 6th day of marriage.The rituals were on until the last minute e hardly had the time to meet up.Infact we never met even once after our engagement for 4 months we directly met on the pedestal set up at the kalyan mantap and then it was 6 days of togetherness..or should i call it one- errr am a bit confused.We were surrounded by people mosta times.No honeymoon even until now :) was there a true celebration within me?was I really happy to be married to my dream man at that point of time?I was supposed to join him which fortunately or unfortunately never happened - all thanks to his company !
“Though it was a matter of just three months, I found it so difficult. After you have lived together, any absence is really hard to bear.”I guess its a very difficult and important difference that a gal goes through probably the man too. A partner’s absence after marriage is different from being far from him or her before marriage. “While love letters and phone calls can console you and keep you going when you are engaged, you really miss the person you are married to much more deeply,”

A physical absence also means that there are difficulties in taking the marriage to the next stage of commitment – that of parenting and children. It is hard for any couple to plan and conceive a child if they are meeting only once in a few months.
Often, the decision to have a child is put off because neither partner wants to put the wife through the difficulty of pregnancy and parenting all by herself..

Sometimes a husband’s absence for long periods means that a wife becomes so self-sufficient and
independent that she has problems re-adjusting and giving him the ‘head of the house’ title on his return.
“I have been used to my husband’s long periods away from me time and again,” The love certainly doesnt cease but expression and values decrease,
“In his absence I handled everything – from taking care of little things to money to everything...
When my husband used to return it always took me some time to again get used to his way of doing things.
We stopped short of arguments, but just about !
I found it hard to give up my independence when he was around once more to shoulder responsibilities.”

True, absence can make the heart grow fonder… the person we miss, that presence, its endearing qualities, all the things we said and did together, are bound to have an impact on us, making us much more appreciative of the one who is not there with us.
But absence can also weaken the bonds of marriage or relationship, by the challenges it throws in our paths. Much maturity and a genuine love and commitment towards our partners is needed to face such challenges.

Google chrome LOGO

Google ko Chorme Logo ka idea kaise mila????



Prabhakaran Alive?


Sri Lanka's Tamil Tiger rebels today denied the Government’s claims that their leader Velupillai Prabhakaran had been killed by the military yesterday.


"Our beloved leader is alive and safe. He will continue to lead the quest for dignity and freedom for the Tamil people," the Tigers' chief of international relations, Selvarasa Pathmanathan, said in a statement carried on the pro-rebel Tamilnet website.
Mr Pathmanathan gave no indication of the whereabouts of Prabhakaran, who was the prime architect of a 26-year war that claimed at least 70,000 lives.

Respect

Generally when we talk about Respect then
we get reminded about our expectation of getting Respect from others.
We start thinking about our current state of Respect,
who all Respect us, who do not, who is more Respected,
who is less, what are the different criterias for ensuring more and more Respect and many such things.
Generally we feel Respected when more and more people know us and more and more people feel and think good
about us. When it happens then we feel happy and we feel that we have lot of Respect.
When somebody appreciates us we feel good/respected, when somebody scolds us we feel bad/disrespected.
When we are in front of a person who is “less” in any way than us then we feel good or respected or superior,
when we are in front of a person who is “more” in any way than us then we feel bad or disrespect or inferior.

The thing which comes here in notice is, generally our criterias and notions of Respect is relative.
We feel more or less Respected relative to others. We see ourselves through the eyes of others.
When we see ourselves through our neighbor’s or our friend’s eyes and we find ourselves good then we feel good or
respected otherwise we feel bad or disrespected.
When we feel that people around us think and feel good about us then we feel Respected.
When we see that people around us do not feel or think good about us then we feel disrespected.

Now here the rat-race starts. To feel good about myself or to ensure more and more
Respect I keep trying several methods. Since according to my understanding of Respect when other person
feels of thinks good about me I feel Respected so, his notions of feeling good or thinking good about someone become my notions of ensuring Respect. I try to do all possible things to rise myself in the eyes of other person so that I can feel Respected. This way we all become drivers of each others lives!

Generally in society 5 things are considered as the criterias for ensuring more and more Respect.
They are, Beauty (Roop), Position (Pad), Power (Bal), Money (Dhan) and Intellect (Buddhi).
We see in the society that people appreciate or Respect others on the basis of these criterias.
A person who has more of it is Respected more and a person who has relatively less is Respected less.
With such kind of notions floating in society we try to be “more” in any or more of above criterias to ensure more
Respect. This effort to accumulate or ensure more and more of any or above to get respect from others is one of the
major root causes of problems which we see in society and unfortunately we all are indulged into it. The sad thing is in spite of ensuring Respect this way by accumulating/ensuring more with us, we still feel insecure about our Respect. As soon as somebody else in our surrounding becomes “more” than us we start feeling “less”.

It is the Relative Evaluation which is the root cause of our insecurities, fears, pressures and unhappiness.

Such kind of insecurities give rise to Inferiority, jealousy and other such things which spoil the relationships.
Whenever we try to ensure Respect from an object which can be separated from us or which has the factor of
relativity or “more” or “less” then we feel insecure about our Respect. Till the time we make such an object as basis of our ensuring Respect, relative evaluation is bound to happen. With relative evaluation we are bound to feel insecure.

Now the next question comes, why do we see ourselves though the eyes of others?
Why is it that I feel Respected when others think or feel good about me and disrespected when
others feel or think bad about me? How come other is driving my life?
We all want Respect. Respect is such a need which is there within us continuously. Continuously in the sense there is never a time when I desire for disrespect or there is never a time when I feel that it has been a long time since I have been getting respect so lets leave it for some time.

We want Certainty, Consistency and Continuity of feeling of Respect within us.
This desire for Respect is there within us continuously which we can see now.
Now lets try to understand what is Respect.

We all evaluate ourselves. We feel that we are “this much”.
When other person sees us or evaluates us the way we consider ourselves or have evaluated ourselves then we
feel Respected. When other person sees us less than what we have evaluated ourselves then we feel disrespected.
When other person sees us more than what we have evaluated ourselves then also we feel disrespected since we
have fear or insecurity or uncertainty of retaining that evaluation in other person’s mind since we know that we are not
that much what other person has evaluated us.
Here one thing we can notice is, we feel Respected when we are “Rightly” Evaluated. Here “Right” evaluation according to us is what we have evaluated ourselves.

We feel Respected when we are Rightly Evaluated by other person.
Here also the thing to notice is, the factor of relativity still persists.
Our feeling of Respect is being dependent on other person. His right evaluation of me makes me feel Respected.
So question which comes is, how is it happening and how can I get rid of this dependency?
The “Right” which we feel is “Right”, is generally not “Absolutely Right”, it is “Relatively Right”.
We evaluate ourselves and we do not have self-assurance that this is “Right Evaluation”.
In lack of such kind of self-assurance when other person evaluates me less than what I feel I am then I doubt myself
and that self-doubt takes me to under-evaluate or over-evaluate or otherwise-evaluate myself and I feel disrespected.

I can have such self-assurance towards my evaluation only when my evaluation is “Absolutely Right” and NOT
“Relatively Right”. With such kind of self-assurance towards my evaluation I will Have
Respect rather than to Expect it.

It is not about Getting Respect from others it is about Having Respect within ourselves for others.
When I am able to evaluate myself right then I am able to evaluate others also rightly.
When I have my absolute right evaluation with me then I have respect, then I do not expect respect from others.

To understand Right Evaluation, Respect, Trust, Relationships and Happiness we need knowledge.

Knowledge includes,
Knowledge of the Self.
Knowledge of Entire Existence.
and Knowledge of Natural Human Conduct.
Alright, so I’m going to bring up a bit of a touchy subject with me.
If you know me, you know that I’m a married girl ahhh a lady in her mid twenties, average Indian height and, and and overweight.

But what I find so amusing is that I eat more vegetables and fruits than most of my other friends.

Now don’t misinterpret me, I’m not going to be chewing on a stick of carrot everytime you see me, I do enjoy myself some fast food, but I eat healthy as well. I love grapes, watermelon, berries, bananas, apples, cucumbers, cauliflower, spinach, cabbage and so many other types of fruits and vegetables.

I understand that my metabolism…well, put plainly, sucks. I just wish that other people understood that.
I hate that people assume that just because I’m fat I do nothing but stuff myself with potato chips and McDonalds all day long.
If you knew me, you’d know that wasn’t the case. One of my favorite snacks is sprouted salad

I’m happy with who I am.
I just don’t understand why no one else is.

Online Love


We first knew in a simple chat
A simple conversation
I never thought
It was a good start.

You were so far away
And we were separated by miles
And I just ignored everything
Because I knew it was just a lie

Then suddenly,
After a few times of talking
I began to miss you
And think of you almost all of the time..

It was a strange feeling for me
And was totally different
And I began to hide my feelings
Because I thought it wasn't right

Day after day, time after time
Feelings started to grow
I think it was love
But never really sure at that time

Until one day, I convinced myself
Thats it is really love I feel for you
I am in love so much in love
With a guy no one but you

Ohh such a sweet thing
You always makes me happy
Everytime I talk to you and see you
And I know this is real true love.

20 May 2009

frozen coriander

Yesterday, I spent the whole evening searching for my coriander dabba. A big round girly thing.I call it girly since its pink with small holes for air, in shape of a flower. Not easily lost. But there, I had done it.
Wondered if I could blame it on the maid - maybe I left it too near the sink and she had washed it all away?
But there was still the big matter of the dabba.
Fourth dimension explanations called for?
Yes. Until I opened the freezer to take out the peas.
Frozen coriander is..... different....

good old days?


I was reminiscing (seriously, what is the matter with me???) about my school days today.

The reason?
hmmm got to know from a common friend about a friends marriage..
You see it is about 28 degrees now and usually about 8-12mm ranfall since a couple os days..I am forced to open an umbrella while out on the streets.
In our school it was considered highly uncool to be caught anywhere within a five mile radius of an umbrella.
Until and unless the city was drowning downpour.
Even then we used to give the umbrella away at the school gate.
Also in the summers, we'd any day choose an early death from a sunstroke rather than open an umbrella (shudder).

The reason you ask? Well I am no racist, but it was all thanks to the Bengalis and Gujaratis and their obsession with
carrying an umbrella everywhere. In all times of the year.
So much so that they made it uncool and geeky to be seen with one!

So this year for the first time in my life(yes old habits die hard), I have used an umbrella.
A shiny black one with a silver coating. It matches my shiny brown bag!

& no Et, I have not ironed my umbrella. Its fashionably crinkled! jelir

This had me thinking. What other things did we consider uncool in those days?

A fringe and a shoulder length hair cut was in vogue in the nineties.
But alas! My paternal old styled grandmom took great pride in her hip length braided hair.and wanted us to be like her too though i have always had boy cuts after adolescence she would get all jittery if i cut my hair.
"Aiyoooooo" they screamed. "After all those years of oiling and combing, she wants to let our efforts go to waste
and cut off her hair! Cut off her hair!!! Have you ever heard of anything like that!?!Do girls from decent families get their hair cut?have you ever seen something like that all the oooo aaa ooohhhs..huh

"What about a fringe across the forehead?" I ventured.
"No no, end of discussion".
Very well then. I proceeded to do what any self respecting early teen would do.
I gave myself a fringe, put a hair pin across my head and hoped my grandmom wouldn't notice.

Well, notice she did and screamed and shouted to her hearts content too.
I put on a straight face and smirked inwardly. She could not hope to rectify it anytime soon and in the mean time
I had what I wanted! I was partially cool!

Trip to Raichur, Raichur that summer and my aunties(far off relatives hmmm neighhbours....) screamed.

"Aiyoooooo Ene dippi!!!!! You did that to yourself!?! What were you thinking!?!
All that lovely hair. benglore ge idakke hodya??? Tsk Tsk.
Do you realize that your pony is thinner by that much hair now?"

"Jeeez. Like I care!" smirk smirk.

It was also uncool to be seen in weird attire.
This I am guilty off. No not in school but on the streets of Bangalore.
I was probably 10. Someone from Raichur had gifted me this typical shirt blouse in bottle green with golden zari border and motifs.
A one time pay back for the very fashionable, awe inspiring dresses that my parents gifted her kids every year.
Picture this one in bottle green and you will have my poison.

That was all very well. But once we were back in Bangalore, they asked me to wear it.

"Why? Where are we going?"

"Oh. Only to the house of this sweet old couple".

"I will look strange out on the streets wearing this".

"But they are traditional Brahmins and will be so happy to see you in this.
Who else is going to see you today? Common now. We will be back soon."

I don't know why I conceded. But that was one of the worst days of my life.
Turns out my parents decided to visit the relatives of the sweet old couple first.
There were so many people there. All of whom had to go all "Aiyoooooo" over my attire.

Also turns out my dad didn't know the sweet old couple's house.
This fella said it was walking distance and they decided to walk over!

Oh the pointing and the staring. I was scarred for life!!!
Please bear in mind that those were the days when there was no cable television.
The days when people in North thought South India consisted of Madras only. (my husband still thinks we all are madrasis :P)
And no one had seen a live specimen parading that fancy dress costume!

"Oh common now. They are looking because you look so nice" said mom.

Yeah! Right!!!

Need I mention that the fringe self haircut came some time after this incident?

My teacher at school used to oil my hair and pin up the fringe eeeyo yucks ! I hated her .........

Zodiac

Sun signs are something that I have lost interest in lately.
A conversation through mails with my sis-in-law earlier this week made me realize
that I no longer take note of people's Zodiac signs.

I do not know whether that means that I have become less judgmental or not.
But I am spilling my thesis on the same here today, just in case!
Please bear in mind that I have something to say only on those signs that I have come across frequently in my daily life.

So here goes:

Libra:
"Mirror mirror on the wall;
Who is the fairest of them all?
Who does all the work unasked and UN-thanked?
Who is dignified and standing tall?"

Yep. This is the seventh of the signs in the zodiac. I am tackling it the first because (ahem ahem) I am a Libra!

Yes. These people are vain vain vain and vain. But they are also mild mannered. They give the impression of having been a prince or a princess in a past life. They rarely abuse. Any kind of uncouthness disgusts them to the core.

If both your parents were Libras then you were raised in heaven. These people are not authoritative and will let you have your way if you tell them a story. Any story. They will believe you!

If one of your parent is a Libra and the other is a strong sign like a Scorpio or (god forbid) a Capricorn then I empathize!
These people have kids for the sake of their spouses (or so it seems) and they neither like to ruffle feathers nor do they like to rock the boat. So if the other parent decides that "sparing the rod will lead to a spoilt child" the Libra will support strongly and say "so be it"!!!

Aquarius:
Aquarius Men:
They are calm on the surface. Aquarius men are status conscious. They keep this in mind while mingling and making contacts. While they may appear stuck up to some, they are definitely not stubborn. Their kids love them. They are always quick to make amends.

Aquarius Women:
are tattle tellers-of the highest order. Though friendly and not as stuck up as their male counterparts, their loud mouthiness and faux paus can get the better of them.

These gals generally marry well. Marriage often gives them a good social foothold. Which is just as well because they have a keen interest in other people's business to begin with!


Capricorn:
Men:
are the good virtuous son that you never had!(If you do not have a Capri for a son that is!)
Although if you are a Piscean or a Gemini that has spoilt your Capri golden boy in his childhood, then I am sorry. Really sorry! What a waste! Tsk Tsk.....

Any-who, these people (sex no bar) believe in "my way or the highway"!
Which can come as a shocker because they can be very understanding and reasonable-one second. And stubborn, scornful and as mad a hateful hatter the very next second.

Alas! Do not blame the golden hearted Capricorn. It is not in his/her power to change. You see these people are terribly manipulative and pompous. They themsleves get manipulated just as easily. So it is all the case of being caught in a vicious circle.

These winter born's are perfectionists. They also have a great eye for detail. They are cleanliness freaks and terrible nags.

Capicornian women rule the roost. They usually have a very strong and close bond with their daughters. The Taurus-Capri marriage is the most common and it is strangely also common to see Capri women have a Scorpio for a daughter. Their husbands will not dare to dominate them even in their dreams!


Sagittarius:
are born flirts! No really. I have never gotten past this trait of the Sagi.

They also back bite. But have or rather build a very good public image. These people are ambitious and know what they want and also know exactly how to get what they want.


Scorpio:
Are my star partner! And I have always attracted Scorpio's by the hordes. So I know for a fact that Scorpios and Libra get along.  Well...

There is more than one kind of Scorpios.
Type1
The ambitious type. These people are clever. They build contacts, talk softly, talk less and know exactly what their next move will be. They value you for exactly what you are worth. And believe me, they really know your worth!

Type2
These people are good friends.

If it is raining cats, dogs and monkeys and no one has come to your birthday party, it is because you do not have a type 2 Scorpio for a friend! These people will swim to you just because you are their friend and also because they know no body else will make it.

But hold your "Awwws".
Every Scorpio(type no bar) is suspicious and "hell hath no fury like a Scorpio scorned"!
They also sulk- an awful lot! They rage and they rant. And try to manipulate. But it becomes very obvious. So they need to take manipulation lessons from the Capricorn.

Thus Scorpio's are like a killer joy ride. "Liked by some, hated by____"!

Virgo:
I like these guys. Mostly.

They are all "bright eyed and bushy tailed". They are intelligent,disciplined and hard working. They are goal oriented. They can also be deceptive. But are generally well liked. They come across as just and fair.

They make good spouses and equally good parents. They also talk a lot of sense.

Pisces:
"I love everyone the same;
But have more concern for the needy and the hurt
I can be calm,
I can be helpful;
But don't take me for granted!"


So here's the skinny on us.
Do Not  Wake a sleeping Piscean, like ever! Especially if you are close to them or live with them. The closer you are the more you will be abused!

Other things I have noticed is that, as a rule, Pisces never get along with other Pisces. They also do not believe that "Blood is thicker than Water". They are observant and articulate. But they can also be very devious if the occasion calls. Sarcasm is their forte!

They usually have to be pushed to succeed and having an anchor in their parents, spouse and/or friends helps. They love beauty and moolah. They are also good at making people work-for them-for free!

These people are branded escapists by some. I feel that they are free spirited. They would probably be the first to dump and walk out of a relationship if they can "live comfortably" outside of it!

Oh and let me finish by adding that they make wonderful parents! They are always tuned into what others are feeling or thinking and this trait comes handy in parenting. The only thing they have to watch out for is spoiling their kids rotten. That is unless their partner is strict and/or takes on the role of disciplinarian.

Leo:
The lion! Proud and friendly. Sunny. Does not like sharing. Does not like being crossed.

And I am talking or rather typing in monosyllables because that is all I have to say on these guys.

Oh yes. I would also like to add that they should make more Piscean friends.


Cancer:
This is another hard working Zodiac sign. They want to be just and fair. These guys can come across as goofy at times.

They are born with a strange fear in their heart. This holds them back from progressing and taking fresh risks. Overcoming this fear will help them soar to great heights.

I doubt their loyalty in a relationship. Though not flirtatious like a Gemini or a Sagi, the Cancer is not very expressive about their feelings. They also have the habit of seeking the opinion of others on their personal matters. Both these facts make me doubt their loyalty. Though I cannot be sure of this.

They are just all right as parents.


Gemini:

"I will steal your heart;
Because I fancy it so.
I will steal your dreams;
And then my vision will be yours.
I will haunt your thoughts;
With my words and my mirth.
But don't fall for me, my love;
I still have many places to go!"


Yes. These people are incorrigible flirts. They are also bundles of energy.
A never say die attitude and a keen roving eye mixed with a dash of the gift of the gab makes a delicious Gemini.

Need I add that these attributes also means that they are selfish? They will not go out of their way to help you. But then who does?

These people love to network and have loads of friends. They are good speakers. They can be manipulative.

They are good friends, if and as long as, your interests match. Just be sure that it is your interest to begin with and not something that they have gotten you interested in!

These people match the Pisces in spoiling their kids. No. Rather they top the Pisces in this regard. This is because they do not posses the Piscean insight and understanding.

But they make good spouses. Again, make sure that your interests match! Do not bore the Gemini. Keep them involved at all cost. God knows they have no dearth of a people pool to dip into in times of need!


Taurus:
I love these guys.
They are the true bull. They win by hard work and nothing else! They are seldom born with a silver spoon. Even then they will be self made (So are Capricorns)!

Taureans make great friends. They are known to be stubborn. But I have not faced this with them.

These guys are very easily influenced. This is probably their worst weakness. They tend to lose their identity in a relationship.

They make good parents, conditionally. This is because they are usually influenced by their spouses and will listen to them on matters relating to the kids.

And finally

Aries:
NO COMMENT and Pass.

Sorry guys. In middle school someone had told me that these guys will cause me immense harm and heart ache. So I have never bothered much with them. And surprisingly (and thankfully) they haven't crossed my path much either!except ofcourse my hubby ;) that explains it all :P

Life


Life in different colors;non-favorable flavors
bright tints,grey hints.

Life in different seasons;unavoidable situations
messy monsoons,choosy moods

Life in different frames;where there is no retakes
sensitive fiction,emotional action

Life in different stages;uncontrolled growing ages
innocent childhood,smart neighborhood

Life in different cultures;unexplored and discrete
rigid traditions,changing generations

Life in different opinions;disagreeing conditions
nonstop argument,unbreakable filament.

19 May 2009

Pre monsson showers

french fries with a cup of hot cofee is all my heart is wishing for when there is thunder storms...Who ain't wishing for a slight sprinkle of thy heavenly rain.. in this scorching sun?! We - I mean, people around HERE - are much luckier in that sense. There's some refreshment rain for us before the temperature gets totally out of bounds. There'll be a small rain, but enough to cool things down. And next day the Sun has to start from the very beginning . Getting outside after 12 in the noon is reaal hell, though. hmmm but fortunately and unfortunately its pouring cats and dogs since a day or 2..fortunately since I would have a good night's sleep unlike my husband who hates cold weather ;) hubby darling good night ! unfortunately since i need to ride through the water filled pot holes plying through the uneven lavelle road.
An interesting thing was that the clouds were moving at a noticeable velocity in the morning. They seemed light-weight. I don't remember seeing such large groups of clouds moving at such speeds.
As i was returning home from a short trip before my office the climate somewhat calmed down. Lesser clouds(not moving now), no wind, lesser cold.. I looked up and said "God, you're kidding me!". And whoa!.. is god really up there?!.. the wind started blowing with double the intensity. It was much supercharged that I felt like flying away. At least I feared the coconut trees bending over in the current will fall over me! I took larger steps.and climbed 3 steps at a time at my mom's place.I turned around.
Yo ho! This is a shower of rain straight down on earth. What a timing, savvy!!
It wasn't that heavy weight out-pouring as in June; anyhow, as I said before, enough to calm things down!or may be just a drizzle here and there.

I entered the house in all soft mood...! Fine and peace, well and good.. imagine, F'in cool! I was at the high, and I felt like enjoying the rain. At the backside of the home, there's a black iron grill. I hummed to the music, moved with the music, and held on to the grill..OOOOOOOOps I had to hit back work it was past 11 in the morn i rode off my pep and was at work by 11.30 and now again its all gloomy and with heavy thunderstorms.Hoping Bangalore doesn't turn into row row rowya boat gently down the stream merrily merrily merrily life is but a DREAM...........



*God reach me and Amit home safe !

hmm..Feelings

"There’s a girl who’s not your ordinary girl, by any means - she’s been through a lot more than you could imagine. This girl not only has faced miles of troubles, years of pain, and an ocean of sorrow, but also has been drowning in her own tears looking for an escape. This girl has taken on challenges with fear and fury.With her eyes full of betrayal and a heck of a fake grin, she doesn’t complain."


ha...so many words to describe the feelings...Our feelings are a natural response to our thoughts and intentions.
We don’t really choose our feelings directly. Our feelings are a feedback mechanism.
They indicate whether we’re moving into alignment with our true desires (positive feelings) or out of alignment (negative feelings).
Simply put…
we feel good when we’re moving towards what we want, and we feel bad when we’re moving away from what we want. And that movement is more about thought and intention than it is about action.

Shifting Paradigms

Home shifting is always a big task that makes you to worry even from the first day you got to know about it.Our house owner,I call him an "S" person( stands for both his name and Stupid) has asked us to vacate the house because of the property division between bros. a crack pot that he is is very foolish.well, am no one to comment on him.Either it is moving from one city to another or inter city only, moving a home is not simple if you are not prepared well or have enough man power that carry each and everything of yours :-)

Its not just about moving stuff from one place to another but safely & organized way so that when you are standing in new home with cartons lying here & there could arrange back easily.My parents are always there and we are behind them - you see to support them :P( probably i take them a lot for granted I at times feel really sad about it too,well not moving away from topic i'm back again,) in arranging the house for us.well the sweetest of parents that I've are a major help in our busy schedule where myself and amit both are sooo occupied with our respective jobs,it becomes a nuisance to switch places, hoping to find "apna ashiyan" at the earliest.

Dreams as an young gal

Certain dream never come to reality hence they are called dreams-but few are worth keeping,keeping within you for ever and ever it gives hope to live,but does it give the zest?

while at college once we had an essay writing contest.Our cultural head had a wonderful topic in her mind "future husbands/wife and hope of future" its self explanatory.I was all excited about it being the hopeless romantic that I'm(I thoroughly believe I'm one-my aunt calls me so)I was sure I would win the prize for this.My friends were sure about it too,but they were more anxious to know what I would have written.Every one started with the routine discussions about the cultural contests and sports contests that were approaching,I was in my own world framing sentences feeling each word of it.But when it came to writing I had 2 conflicting views within me,should I be sharing my dreams? one was yes the other was obviously a no,yes because I am a romantic and i like sharing things imagining and being in my own "wonderland" hoping my dreams would all come true and dreaming about my prince charming.No, was because i feared not people would make fun of me but fear of my dreams not coming true and more so after everyone knowing how i dreamt my life.I had to decide and register my name.Finally I stood and said yes mam,i'm participating.I won the contest :-) as expected by everyone but....... forget it !
This is what i had written-

Things I Love About My Husband

I cherish his company, his companionship, our conversation, the way
he smiles and looks at me. It brings joy to my heart when he cuddles
up close to me and puts his head on my shoulder. But he doesn’t stop
there, he is always comforting me with a loving caress of his hand on my back, or my arms.

I love the way he guffaws at my silliness and how we laugh together.
I enjoy the togetherness we share no matter what we are doing. he
always maintains a demeanor that is caring and thoughtful. My husband
checks up on me when he is aware that I am sad or feeling ill. he goes out of his way to make dinner even after he has had a difficult day, and he sacrifices for
others even when he is lacking. My darling often takes me out to the
movies or to dinner or both.

My beloved compliments me in the presense of family and friends. I
greatly appreciate the fashion in which he inquires me for advice or
opinions, how he credits me in my successes, but most of all how he
is supportive, putting his trust in me and standing beside me with
respect and admiration. However, I also appreciate it when he shares
with me his insights, ideas and considerations.

My darling takes time out to send me loving text messages during the
course of his workday, (I do treasure his thoughtfulness). I delight
in the way he decorates our home and how he likes to share his joys
and happiness with me. But also how he expresses the desire to look
good for me in the public, (which in my opinion does not take any
effort). My love is beautiful inside and out!

His response to gifts tickles me, just as it does to
watch him playing with sand dust while we are enjoying a walk
together. It’s a real joy to see the little boy in him come out to
play with me, we often dance together around the house to the sound of
our own heartbeats. I enjoy how we can have fun together, as a couple,
doing the simplest things.

I adore the way he snuggles up to me at the movies and holds on to my
arm as if we were on a roller coaster ride, and how he falls asleep
with his head on my chest. he also brings me joy by the sounds he
makes when I massage his feet.

My husband loves me in so many ways I would have to make notes of them as
they are happening, just to put them all down on paper. But my heart
feels each loving stroke of his wonderful love. I thank my Father for
bringing him into my life and for allowing me to experience such a
beautiful love.

Many men do noble things, but you surpass them all.

18 May 2009

Why does it have to ache inside?
Why do I have to weep each night?
I think I have to
peregrinate on by...
Cuz I'm starting to lose my sight...

What is it that changed your mind?
Who is it that keeps you blind?
Why did you change so fast?
Did you really have to leave me behind?

I start to think about all we had
And how it turned this way...
I guess I'll have to leave your side,
And turn my face away...

Although my soul will die...
Although my heart will cry...
I've got nothing else to do,
I'm hurt deep inside

But although I'll leave your side,
You'll be always on my mind...
My heart and soul will ache for you,
Every day and every night...

You're my never-ending love,
The love that keeps me alive...
You're the one I'll love forever,
Although it hurts inside.

GOBLET

What is spirit and what is cognition?
Is life a cellar or is it an Attic?
cognition is a consequence, Life is the question,
and spirit is the answer.

What is dull and what is bright?
What is day and what is night?
It may be dark, it maybe daylight,
but its only what you see through your eyes.

What is loss and what is gain?
What is pleasure and what is pain?
Pleasure is the loss and pain is the gain.
But time preaches that ‘All is the same’.

What is conquered and what is lost?
What is expensive and what is not?
Conquered is whatever is not lost,
Expensive is little more than you have got.

What is sin and what is sacred?
Is it love or is it hatred?
Sin is whatever circumvents belief,
Love and hatred are names for relief.

What is hurt and what is a tear?
What is far and what is near?
Hurt is what induces a tear,
Far is what once was near.

So many questions and so less answers,
Life is the stage and we are the performers.
Questions will remain only the answers will change.
The past is lost; the present is gone, only the future remains.
Reason is not the finale; thought is not the verge,
Death is only the edge,
Realization is the suffix,
Then what is the crux?
The answer is the Goblet,
And the universe is the palace.

It is beyond what all words can speak,
And afar from whatever the eyes can see.
It is something beneath the depths of oceans and seas,
Unknown, unconquered and mysterious it will be,
Forever, like our own distant dreams.

FORGIVE-(NESS)

To not to be able to forgive and inability to take revenge keeps killing you continuously inside.
We see that sometimes we get into an altercation with somebody or somebody says something to us with which
we start feeling that we are being looked upon down, we are being wrongly evaluated, other person is trying to hurt us
deliberately or other person did something wrong with us when he had option of not doing it, then we get hurt.
We get infuriated. We want to teach a lesson to other person.
We keep doing a calculation within ourselves continuously about how to teach a lesson to that person
or we keep doing numerous arguments within ourselves to prove to us that we are right.
When we see/confront that person then it reminds us of that feeling of hurt again.
Every action of other person his smile, his gesture, his walking style, his entire body language,
his words everything looks negative/fake to us. Everything in him increases our feeling of hurt.
With time this feeling of hurt keeps multiplying. We also start seeing every previous action of that person as antagonistic
The more we dig into our memories about our interactions with that person the more we hurt ourselves and
increase the willingness to teach a lesson to that person. If other person is the one who has been close to me
since a long time then it hurts me more.

If somehow we comprehend with that person or feel that he did not intend to hurt or he meant something else
than what I assumed or he had no other option than what he did, then we restore our comfort.
We see that all this is happening, but why this is happening?

Feeling of Non-Acceptance for another human being is not Naturally Acceptable to a human being.
Till the time a human being has this feeling of Non-Acceptance for another human being he keeps killing himself inside.
At least one is able to see that this feeling of Non-Acceptance for another human being is very painful.
As I described above, all those things happen and keep your mind occupied.
In fact when a human being has this feeling of Non-Acceptance for other human being he spends all his energies to
come out of the pain which he is feeling out of that feeling of Non-Acceptance.
To come out of this pain, he plans to take revenge, he comes up with several arguments in his
defense and also to teach a lesson to other person, his feeling for other person changes,
he starts undermining other person and several more such things happen.

The thing to notice here is, once we get a feeling of Non-Acceptance for other person we try to do
several such things which I described above. In all those methods we may be able to secure our comfort with
that specific other person for some time but the possibility of this feeling of Non-Acceptance to come within us
still remains available, with that person or with some other person again.
On the other hand suffering with this feeling of Non-Acceptance is not Naturally Acceptable to a human being,
so there is a need to identify the root cause of the problem and work over there so that this feeling of Non-Acceptance
never comes again.
The root cause of this problem lies in the inability to recognize the root expectation/desire within a human being
and means to fulfill it. This root desire/expectation is of Unconditional Acceptance in a human being
from others around. A human being by birth has this expectation of Unconditional Acceptance from others around
but lacks the competence to give it to others.
His Acceptance for others remains dependent on others acceptance for him.
A human being is not able to accept others when they are not able to accept him.
As soon as he feels that he is being unaccepted by other person then he also start getting a feeling
of Non-Acceptance for that person and this feeling of Non-Acceptance hurts him and NOT the
Non-Acceptance of other person for him. This can be verified by anybody or needs a verification by everybody.

So ultimately it is the feeling of Non-Acceptance within me which is the source of hurt/pain within me.
What all I try to do is to either hurt other person or to convert the feeling of Non-Acceptance in other person for me into
Acceptance, anyhow. This creates all problems like hatred, anger, jealousy, competition etc.
To understand Acceptance we need to understand ourselves,
so ultimately it comes down to a problem of our own lack of understanding of ourselves.

So when there is Acceptance, forgiveness is automatically there. In fact Acceptance is the basis of forgiveness.
To understand Accepance, Trust, Respect and Relationships we need Knowledge. It includes understanding
related to:-Self,Family,Society,Nature.

To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.

Remember that a life well lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who caused you pain power over you, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you. Forgiveness is about personal power.
Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that hurt you, or condoning of their action. What you are after is to find peace. Forgiveness can be defined as the "peace and understanding that come from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking the life experience less personally, and changing your grievance story."

As The father of the nation said once : The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else.

15 May 2009

EXCLUSIVELY FOR ENGINEERING STUDENTS

I have been brought up in the family of engineers and married to an engineer too and i dedicate this to all of them :-) *


Ques: Prove that 2/10=2
Ans : Normal college students insist Question is "OUT of Syllabus" or incorrect.
but
Engineering Students never knows what is correct answer, he/she always think, we are Engineering student and so we should think differently and invent new miracles
So engineering student will solve this example as below
2=two,
10=ten.
therefore Two/Ten = Two/Ten = wo/en.
w=23,
o=15,
e=5,
n=14.
therefore
w+o=23+15=38
&
e+n=5+14=19
Therefore wo/en=38/19= 2.
Hence Proved
FOR, Engineers " It doesn't matter ans kya hai, they say ans kya lana he."

ALWAYS THINK BIG