Deep within me today

Here I lay, in the contour of darkness. Since you've left, I fear my future; I dread my past; I pity my present. I revisit those interesting places, where we used to have trysts. Now they are like empty spaces, like dark corners which haunts me in my nightmares. You used to come in my dreams, now you are my nightmares. You don't let me sleep, you drag me to awareness every now and then. This has been happening for several weeks now may be months. I've lost my faith. I don't believe in god, I don't trust people I don't even trust myself.
It seems like whole world is conspiring against me. I can't be happy whatever I do. I've started dwelling on this darkness. Its enveloping me, overwhelmingly discouraging me. I am sinking in this darkness I am... bathing in this darkness. I don't find fun in playing with a child, in a teenager's smile. I don't appreciate a beautiful morning, I am unable to adore an innocent pup. I find it hard to smile, it feels like I am not supposed to.

My vision is fading. Each day looks like another battle. I find compliments fake, adoration dishonest. I listen to people who claim they are happy and they seem to me as hypocrites. They are concocters who can't accept the darkness in their lives and brag about how happy they are. In reality, deep inside their hearts, they must be feeling the emptiness as I do. They guard their insecurities and fears by indulging in obsolete obsessions. Some flaunt wealth, some flaunt flesh, some display simulated altruism(the practice of unselfish concern for or devotion to the welfare of others). As for me, I burn myself.My identity my aura has been dissolved in this dark soot. I am no more the woman I used to be or wanted to be.

My dreams my desires are all an obsolete myth now. They've all faded in the dark mist of melancholy. But I don"t lay in the dark silhouette anymore. I've raised myself up. I've begun a new journey, a pursuit of darkness.

Love thy life

I recently lost someone close to me some one i dearly loved I have been,overwhelmed with a sense of grief, and even more so, a sense of renewal. A sense of purpose of late.
Why does it take the loss of a loved one to realize how precious life really is? I keep wondering why we tend to forget what life is all about. If you’re anything like me, it’s easy to get caught up in the insignificant details. Work. Money. Drama. Whatever it is for you, we all seem to lose sight of what is truly important.Better half, Good friends, Shelter Food, Love LIFE All of the rich blessings from God.
Take whatever is eating away at you, and let it go. Cleanse yourself of the negative energy that YOU allow into your life. Love your better half unconditionally,Cherish the family you have, and remember, at the end of the day, your spouse is your family throughout your life they are your soul. Revel in the amazing friendships and bonds that you have developed throughout your life, whether it be 25 years or one day old. Remove yourself from any detrimental situations, but remember to thank your adversaries for the life lessons that have been bestowed upon you as a result. Forgive all, regardless of the wrongdoings that have been imposed on you. Ask for forgiveness, despite your stubbornness. Have faith in God that your life has a purpose and that you can make a difference in another’s life. Don’t just attempt to live every day to the fullest — grab life by the horns and genuinely LIVE.
During times like this, I become grounded again. I remember who I am, where I came from, and where I’m going. I remember who I want to be.

Doom's day

"I understand how i'm feel right now..
I know how upset i'm..
I know how much i'm committed to our relationship and how much I want to save it"

These feelings are natural and you should fight for the man or woman you love and hold so dear.

Problem is, we are most likely going about it all wrong.

Feelings of helplessness, anger, or frustration are a direct result of the current inability to convey to your partner the underlying messages....

Every thing is very fragile right now and every thing I do or say is of vital importance
and I do not want to make the same mistakes that doom so many relationships.

but... everything has an end..

but as sharukh's dialogues go in OSO :"kehte hai ki filmon ki tarah hamari zindagi mein bhi end tak sab theek hee ho jaata hai..happys endings...aur agar theek naa ho toh woh the end nahi, picture abhi baaki hai mere dost..."

The scriptures on husbands

Courtesy : the holy scriptures

We have all heard jokes about "who wears the pants in the family."
Yet, leadership in the home is no laughing matter. During the last few decades our culture has redefined the meaning and
responsibilities of man and woman in society and in the home.
Many men are confused and insecure. Many do not know how to act in the home.
Growing up, they lacked a good model for leadership at home and have no mental picture of what it means to lead a family.
Consequently, they do not lead effectively, or they do not even try.
Increasingly, many men are becoming passive in the home.
They've decided that the easiest thing to do is nothing.
The simplest thing-with the smallest risk-is to stay on the fence with both feet firmly planted in mid-air and let the wife do it.
When a man is married to a strong wife who will take over, he often lets her do just that.Fortunately, there is an answer.but how many really understand the essence?
The Scriptures clearly give us the model for being a man, a husband and father.

Be a Leader:

"Head" does not mean male dominance, where a man lords it over a woman and demands her total obedience to his every wish and command. God never viewed women as second-class citizens. His Word clearly states that we are all equally His children and are of equal value and worth before Him,women are to be respected, revered, and treated as equals with men. Unfortunately, many husbands have not gotten the message. They degrade their wives by neglect or with insensitive and abusive treatment. One cause of the feminist movement may have been that men abandoned God's design. When God presented Eve to Adam in the Garden, Adam received her as a gift of great value to God and him. When husbands,do not treat their wives as a precious gift from God and helpmate, they can cause those wives to search for a way to find significance and value as persons, often outside.I believe wives want husbands and need them to lead. You are not demanding this position; on the contrary, God placed you there. You will not lead her perfectly, but you must care for you wife and family by serving them with perseverance.Scripture does more than assign leadership in a marriage to the husband, however. Those same passages you just read also provide a model for that leadership.valmiki says,that the husband is head of the wife as is a lord in a temple "This comparison of the husband with lord reveals the sense in which a man should be his wife's "head.""He is her head as being vitally interested in her welfare. He is her protector.

Love your wife unconditionally : The varaha purana states :Your unconditional acceptance of your wife is not based upon
her performance, but on her worth as God's gift to you.
If you want to love your wife unconditionally, always be sure her emotional tank is full.
One of the best ways to do that is to affirm her constantly.
Let her know verbally that you value her, respect her, and love her. many men fail to do that enough
There is no question that words communicate love, but so do actions. You need to do both

In one of the many letters written by socrates to his fellow men about marriage he says "let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth"
One of the missing ingredients in male leadership in homes is sacrificial action. When was the last time you gave up something for your wife-something you genuinely valued, like you reading a magazine or news paper, a television programme, or your laziness?
Sometimes you need to give up something you enjoy so your wife can have a break and see your love for her.

Serve your wife: being head of your wife does not mean being her master, but her companion. Again the scriptures show us how lord vishnu washed Rishi bhrigu's feet to
calm him.Lord(refering to Ram) the Head of the Temple, took on the very nature of a servant when He was made in human likeness.One of the best ways to serve your wife is to understand her needs and try to meet them. Do you know what your wife's top three needs are right now?

your wife has a different set of needs that you should try to meet. What is she worried about? What troubles her? What type of pressure does she feel? Learn the answers to questions like that, and then do what you can to reduce her worries, her troubles, her pressures.

What do you know about your wife's hopes and dreams? I bet she has plenty-do you know what they are?
Are you cultivating her gifts? If she has a knack for decorating, do you help her develop that?
Providing for your wife also means taking the initiative in helping meet her spiritual needs. You do this by modeling godly character, by praying with her, by spending time together in God's Word, and by looking for ways to encourage her spiritually.

The holy hindu scriptures say :
To be a leader, a lover, and a servant is to accommodate your life to the life of the gift God has given you-your wife.
Give up your life for hers and, at the Judgment Seat the lord, He will say, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."

wounded heart

many of us has had a moment/experience where we've felt heart was breaking... Independent of boy/girl relationships.... i've been having a series of bad days where i could physically feel my heart hurting, it is just crazy and bad and hurtful, unexpected, and disorientating all at once. it was so overwhelming, came seemingly out of nowhere, and just made me break down and cry uncontrollably.....
i know this has to do with past experiences of mine and being overwhelmed by too many recent events, but just wondering if anyone else too has experienced something similar to this?Am i too good to the world?orthe world is too bad for me....i need ....

Hmmm..Random thoughts at my Mom's place of yester days

Lovely monsoons down south..a romantic and a cozy morning, a wistful desire to return in thought.
*Thoughts still bind me to the land of velvety carpet of brilliant green and sloping sunbaked roofs.
* Lazy moments at home,call of my Amma, a cup of hot coffee by the window panes...
*Morning ragas sung by my grandma.the chirping of tree squirrels
*the music on the radio..classical carnatic music thats soothing..
*Kids running around the house
*Still in love with the pale afternoon sunlight and thick rain clouds behind them and the rains throughout the night.
*Smell of wet earth.
*Gusty winds blowing the gulmohar flowers off the trees,rains lashing our windows.
*Its too diffcult to set my mind on anything else,but i ought to ..
*Am i crying?,Yeah,a drop or two in the eyes,let me wipe it unknowingly..
*Have loads to share with you all,
*Do wait for me while I drag myself from my Romantic thoughts.

mama mama can you change the diaper?

Hey folks this is an interesting piece of article I found..Its nice and beneficial for many who tumble upon this article on my blog, so put it up...go on read it along---

Just as men fantasize about housemaids and actresses, women fantasize about firemen and policemen, who are men that display strength, power and masculinity.

If a sexy fireman had to check with his mother every time he took off his clothes for a girl, his sex appeal would definitely fade. Women generally like strong men who aren't intimidated or easily influenced by other people, and that's a big reason why women don't like mama's boys. :P

The thing is, mama's boys often fulfill their mother's every wish, especially the most unreasonable ones ---- and that's where the problems start.

If a man lives out his mother's every wish, chances are that he will not make decisions with his significant other without his mother's approval. It's hard enough to share decisions as a couple, so it is rare that a woman will tolerate a third person interfering in her relationship with her man. When a girl is 12 and her boyfriend can't go out because his mother doesn't approve, it's OK because he's still a child. When that boy becomes a man and his mother still rules his life, however, most women aren't that understanding.
Women want to be No. 1...........

If a woman shares a man's bed, she probably won't settle to be second fiddle in his life.

It is normal and expected that a man will treat his mother on her birthday, Mother's Day, or on any other celebration. However, if a man always puts his mother before his wife, no matter what the occasion, chances are his wife will end up resenting him and leave him. The main reason why women don't like mama's boys is because competing with the woman who gave birth to him just isn't an option.Imagine if you are out and your man just calls up and asks permission to even treat his wife-isnt it ridiculous?forget mother, infact women of the household needs to be consulted..pathetic!!!

The first thing a man can do to avoid being ditched for being a mama's boy is create a new relationship with his mother as an adult. If you've ever been called a mama's boy, chances are your mother is too intrusive and you need to learn how to say "no" to her.

She might be a saint, but it doesn't mean that she can't be unreasonable and manipulative. Your mother already knows you love her and would do anything for her, and that is precisely the problem. She knows you can't say no.

So, once in a while, even through her tears and attempts at emotional blackmail, let your mother know how good your wife is to you and how important it is that she remains part of your life.

It's OK to tell your mother when you are looking forward to that romantic weekend you have planned for you and your girlfriend. It is also OK to tell her that she doesn't need to make sandwiches for the road.

When a mother-in-law is in the picture too much, it can make a woman feel like she isn't doing a good job at keeping her man happy since he still has another "woman" doting on him. Women like to know they're making their men happy. They don't want to hear that they can't cook or can't do things as well as their lovers' mother.

No privacy
Another thing women dislike about mama's boys is the fact that they sometimes make the mistake of telling their mothers certain private things. After all, no woman wants to date Ray from Everybody Loves Raymond. Often. Women expect men to have difficulties talking about intimate issues, so when a woman finds out her man has been speaking to his mother about their problems, she feels betrayed.there are some issues which your spouse might want to keep between you and her..

Never let your wife feel that she comes second and that your mother always has the last word. If your wife witnesses you giving in to your mother's unreasonable requests, make sure that she also witnesses you saying no to your mother.

If you're a mama's boy, chances are your mother will think that no other woman will ever be good enough for you. So when your mother tells you that she will not break your heart but your lover will, remember that if you love and respect both the women in your life fairly, your lover will always want to play nurse with you and your mother will never stop baking you cookies