SOAP MAKING

Life moves so fast.. Come to think of it, it just feels like this happened just yesterday...oh no no, it was a few years ago...and like this life moves on.. So many things happened since the last time I penned. Sister got married, Made new friends, few friends moved places, few have kids, many new things learnt, so many old things forgotten..few deliberate few just passed...Meanwhile I took up a new interest- "SOAP"

I started making soap and thoroughly enjoying making so many kinds. Life seems interesting with this new hobby. I have always been interested in "chemistry" aa aan it isn't just the chemistry of relationships but the science.

I like the very fact that chemicals bond and rebond giving birth to new bonds.

I was just browsing through looking for information on chemistry, also, on painting and paints. i was on lookout for hobby classes. I'm actually getting quite bored sitting at home after sister's marriage. While flipping through the pages I found an interesting link to soap making. I hadn't the least idea of making soaps at home. I always thought it was factory made. booom! here I'm making wonderful soaps and people who use it are all praises. Feels nice...

That's how I got the idea. I flipped through few chemistry books contacted few people and had the inherent urge to do it.

Its been a while practicing and trying it out on every other person I meet. Initially it was quite overwhelming to find a lot of information and options to begin with. Gradually with all kinds of trial and error I can now say I'm happy with the outcome. The feedback received from people I try it on encourages me to do it a lot...

I also tried my hands on bath salts and bath bombs. Tried it on myself, family and friends and their friends and the circle just grew. Superb reviews on it. Each time I made it, it turned better. Its amazing...

Now, I have begun customizing it according to need and requirement.

I love the goat milk soap for my skin and my family's. It feels very smooth, nourished and radiant. Its another thing I have been blessed with good skin, touch wood ;-) but to take care of the blessing- this helps!

 Soaps

Bath Salts

Bath Bombs

Many people ask me what exactly is bath bomb? How to use it:

Most importantly its sheer fun and very relaxing. You'll start enjoying your daily routine bath and it would no more be a routine but an experience in itself whether you are 2 or 92 years.. Bath bombs fizz and foam, dissolving in a flurry of color and bubbles within 2-4 minutes, depending on the size of the bomb. Some bath bombs also change your water to different colors, and children will LOVE the fragrance and the whole experience.

Guaranteed Soft skin : The ingredients in bath bombs gives your skin a massaging effect, soothing it by scrubbing off the dead skin and making it smoother and softer. It softens the water in which you are taking bath and hence the water becomes more gentler on your skin. My customers after using the bath bombs compare it to silk. A customer said "my skin feels like silk after using your mini bombs"(she used her term-mini bomb for bath bombs  )

It is a good moisturiser Bathing in hot water can rip your skin off of essential oils and make it feel dry and scaly. Our bath bombs have special natural ingredients to keep your skin moist and radiant by nourishing it.

Fragrance: who doesn't love to smell good and people love being around others who smell nice. Bath bombs keep you fresh and you smell wonderful all through the day. Bath bombs make your whole bathing experience a fragrant one.. Your bath room too shall smell good after you leave it... It enhances your mood and keeps your fresh. The bombs soothe your senses, the fragrance soothes your mind.

Tightens skin and influences the mood.

I highly recommend you use IVORY bath bombs to know more benefits. I recommend you use IVORY bath products as they are very natural and chemical free. They are made of all natural products and are free of parabens, no phthalates, and no yucky stuff that your skin will hate you for..

Bath bombs also have therapeutic effects on mind and body. They please all your senses and relieves you of your daily fatigue and prepares you for your busy day.

Also, it gives you a feel of luxury. The luxury of indulging and its something you do for yourself and that would make you happy.

Using IVORY product your skin will fall in love with you over and over daily... Please try one out, and let me know about your bath bomb experience! I look forward to hearing from you.

How to use them?

 Just drop one bath bomb in your bucket of water or if you use a bathtub you can add up another bomb. It shall fizz in 2-3 minutes. Sometimes changing the colour of the water. They have a great color and smell...hmm...and they tend to look slightly granular up close. get into the bath tub or use the hot water from the same tub you added the bath bomb. Enjoy the wonderfully relaxing fizz of the bomb!

What it feels like…

It sucks to bottle things up inside you…

But it sucks more knowing that when you tell someone something,

They will just sit there and judge you…

It is so hard to open up to someone who’s just curious about what you’re going through in life.

And once the curiosity is satisfied, they just leave you.

Or much worst, they will spread sh*t about you.

Yes, trust is always an issue.

You may find it funny, but for me,

It’s easier to tell things to a complete stranger, because they don’t judge you.

They do listen, and it doesn’t matter if they tell it to the people they know, ’cause they don’t have any idea about who you are, where you came from and what you are going through.

What I really wanna emphasize is that, once you found the person who can be whoever, who are themselves when you’re with them, where you can act stupid, silly and crazy at times yet they still accept you for who you are. Don’t let them go. Cherish them. Value every single moment with them.

It’s not everyday that you meet someone whom you can share every littlest thing in your life.

It’s not every day that you meet someone who cares, who really cares.

It’s not every day that you meet someone whom you can call your FRIEND.

Honestly, I may have few of them, but I know and I am sure that they love me and that they do care for me.

And it is because of them that I consider myself ONE LUCKY PERSON on EARTH.

Previous night when I was SMSing my friend I told him I'm in the process of searching myself and in response he replied back saying if you would want to search yourself look into the hearts of people where you lived and shall always..who love you for all that you are without any pre requisites and conditions..

The truth

Being single is not bad at all. In essence, it doesn't really mean you’re incomplete. But there are just those times that you’ll feel lacking. Those times when the nagging feeling of needing to have a certain someone creeps up at you. There are those hard to avoid moments where you realize you don’t have someone to inform about how your day went, you have no one to stay up late with, you have no one who sends you sweet messages, no one to share your crazy thoughts to, no one to spend simple and special moments with, no one who understands and accepts all your quirks, and you have no one who tells you “I Love You” at any given time of the day. It’s not that much about the loneliness or the fear of being alone. It’s more about trying to reconcile yourself with the fact that out of billions of people in the world, not even one person fought for the right to be with you.

Choose Happiness: The Road To Mastery

One of the books I include in my litany of sources for this blog on happiness is “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch.  If you are unfamiliar with this book or story, Randy was a professor at Carnegie Mellon University.  He gave his last lecture, a tradition amongst professors, a few years back.  For him it truly was his last lecture as he was dying from cancer.  He passed away a few months later.

He shares a story about his football coach who was a very tough but fair man.  One day, after an exhausting practice, one of the assistant coaches said to Randy, “Coach Graham rode you pretty hard today, huh?”  Randy agreed.  The assistant coach continued, “That’s good.  When you’re screwing up and no one is saying anything anymore that means they gave up.”  And so it is.

Dr. Stephen Marmer who defined the 4 stages of life – Dependence, Mastery, Big Fish In A Little Pond and Small Fish In A Big Pond.  Pausch’s story speaks on Mastery.  We may not always appreciate the long practices, the push ups, the running, the coach or mentor or colleague barking at us to spur us on or the long court proceedings.  We would prefer to do it at our own pace, on our own terms.  But the silence of our own will is sometimes deafening.  We need to be challenged.  We need to hear some things which make us uncomfortable.  Ultimately, we need others who care enough about us to focus more on doing good for us, versus doing nice things in order to gain our affection (boy this sounds familiar!).

In an interview, near his death, Randy said that sometimes you leave the field and the score is not in your favor.  You know that you really gave it your all.  The other team was just too strong.  He ended by stating that even if he was not all that important, “I had my hour.”

Our road towards mastery is pock marked with failure.  This is necessary.  Here lies growth, maturity and progression towards the ‘big fish’ stage where your ‘hour’ may come.  Stay patient.  Stay focused.  Stay strong.

Stay Happy My Friends

10 Secrets to Fulfilling Relationships

   1. The first secret? the power of THOUGHT.
      Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think about. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about ourselves and others. If we want to love someone, we need to consider their needs and desires.

   2. The second secret? the power of GIVING.
      If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of yourself, freely and unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. Before committing to a relationship, ask not what the other person will be able to give to you, but rather what will you be able to give them. The secret formula of a happy, lifelong, loving relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of what you can take.

   3. The third secret? the power of RESPECT.
      You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect ask yourself, "What do I respect about myself?" To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself "What do I respect about them?"

   4. The fourth secret? the power of FRIENDSHIP.
      To find a true love, you must first find a true friend. Love does not consist of gazing into each other’s eyes, but rather looking outward together in the same direction. To love someone completely you must love them for who they are, not what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which love’s seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.

   5. The fifth secret? the power of LETTING GO.
      If you love something, let it free. If it comes back to you, it’s yours; if it doesn’t, it never was. Even in a loving relationship, people need their own space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and let go of past hurts and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions. "Today I let go of all my fears, the past has no power over me – today is the beginning of a new life."

   6. The sixth secret? the power of COMMUNICATION.
      When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say those three magic words: "I Love You." Never let an opportunity pass to praise someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word – it could be the last time you see them! If you were about to die but could make telephone calls to the people you loved, who would you call, what would you say and … why are you waiting?

   7. The seventh secret? the power of COMMITMENT.
      If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it, and that commitment will be reflected in your thoughts and actions. Commitment is the true test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship from a strong one.

   8. The eighth secret? the power of PASSION.
      Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone, it comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. Passion can be recreated by recreating past experiences when you felt passionate. Spontaneity and surprises produce passion. The essence of love and happiness are the same; all we need to do is to live each day with passion.

   9. The ninth secret? the power of TOUCH.
      Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.

  10. The tenth secret? the power of TRUST.
      Trust is essential in all loving relationships. Without it, one person becomes suspicious, anxious and fearful and the other person feels trapped and emotionally suffocated. You cannot love someone completely unless you trust them completely. Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end. One of the ways you can tell whether a person is right for you is to ask yourself, "Do I trust them completely and unreservedly?" If the answer is "no", think carefully before making a commitment.

A girl's message-

If you see me walking the road with someone else
It’s not because I like his company
Its because you’re not brave enough to walk
beside me.

If you hear me talking about him all the time
Its not because he pleases me
Its because you’re too deaf to hear my
heartbeat

If you feel me falling with someone new
Its not because I love him
Because you’re not there to catch me fall

If you feel lost, I too am nowhere
I too don’t know where the road is going
Are we gonna cross each other’s path
Or just completely turn around?
Will we just let go of what we had
Or go to the place where love is bound

Don’t let me walk with him
It’s you I want to walk with
Don’t let me talk of him
It’s you I want to talk with
Don’t let me fall for him
It’s you I want to fall in love with.

“HOW THE GUY REPLY”

When you thought I wasn’t brave enough to walk
beside you
I was behind you every step of the way
Still filled with awe because of the beauty
that stands before me

When you thought I was too deaf to hear your
heartbeat I didn’t want to assume anything
And I was afraid to lose our friendship

When you thought I wasn’t there to catch you
It was because you never gave me the chance
You never reached the bottom, you’ve already
grabbed a branch

If you feel like you are nowhere, I too am
lost I too don’t know where the road is going
Are we just going to turn around,
Or are we gonna cross each other’s path?
Will we just let go of what we had
Or go to the place where love is bound?

Don’t let me walk alone
I want to walk by your side
Don’t let me talk of something else
It’s you I want to talk with
Don’t fall for someone else
It’s you I want to fall in love with.

Read a write up...an experience

I read a write up 2 days ago few thoughts on it..

The writer claims it to be his own true experience and I guess most of us go through this phase and experience it at least sometime in life..need not be the exact feelings or may be... read on~ It's a gist 


The story revolves around NAMIT who is a day dreamer, egoistic, and an attention seeker, romance and him are 2 poles apart, afflicted with a bizarre madness and arrogance engulfing him. It is the story of his life which encompasses love, dedication, eccentricity, friendship and overall his discovery of his TRUE LOVE, his soulmate and also the anguish of losing it due to his obstinacy and self-centeredness. It is a repertoire of moments coated with velvetiness of love and bruised by the thorns of betrayal. It highlights the situations which ultimately turn him into a devil, who wants to annihilate the whole world with his impiety, consequences being the least he cares about; and eventually loses his happiness, identity and even himself in this process.

He could neither speak in words, nor could ever pen it down...
The loneliness, the emptiness her absence left behind...
Those moments spent in the warmth of her cuddle Still lingered in a cruel heart...... in a guilty mind!!!
Whenever he dreamt, he saw her so tranquil.. Can he trace the reason for the distance?distance between them both-poles apart :-) ?

I could relate quite a bit having gone through few similar situations..Made me think...so many random thoughts...Spent the day with the same thoughts lingering in my mind..tears wheeling down my cheeks...

Lovers to Friends…

One of the most dangerous things about falling in love is the risk you take knowing that in a moment that someone could no longer be yours. So why do we do it? Why do we open our hearts to feel vulnerable and broken? Because falling in love is a human’s most divine sense of feeling. For some people the love they have never fades. It exists as long as they exist. And when the world tries to invade what they have waited so long to feel, they wrap their fingers around it and never let go. White knuckles, red palm, they never let go. But with that love comes an ache that can never be rid of. It’s that uncontrollable and unstoppable realization that you have no power over the way you feel. You are victim to the sting of love. It hurts as much as it heals. For some, that ache wears on their soul, and they find themselves forgetting why they loved in the first place. They let go, release the tension in their hand, and watch as the very thing they once held dear fades away. So why do we do it? Why do we fall in love? Because even if the person you love gives up on you, even if you give up on the person you love, what has been will never change. The way your heart felt while it did last makes the risk worth it. Never forget what you did have. Maybe one day, you will find each other again. Maybe one day, you’ll both remember why you loved so deeply. Maybe one day, you won’t. But no one can take away what your heart so fondly remembers.


I'm letting it all go.. Some-things can never be forgotten..Few people are in distant memory yet they are there... 


People might give up the dreams woven together, the goals of being together. But then, they know, they gave up for the happiness of each other. 'THEY'gave up. Yes, but they won’t let their weakness destroy whatever  they had made. The relationship they had created. The ‘we’ is just too beautiful to make it fade.


Its again a new beginning...
Goodbye lover..


Hello friend..

Coffee?- lesson

All friends visited a teacher from our schooling days. During our visit, conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in their personal and professional lives.


Offering his students coffee, the teacher went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups -porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite – telling us to help ourselves to the coffee.


When all of us had a cup of coffee in hand, the teacher said,


“Notice that all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups… and then you began eyeing each other’s cups.


Now consider this: Life is the coffee; your job, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life. The type of cup one has, does not define, nor change the quality of Life a person lives. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us.


The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.”


God brews the coffee, not the cups… Enjoy your coffee!


Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Spend time with God over your coffee.


He conveyed it in such a simple manner ! A true teacher - salutations!

LIVE, LOVE and LEARN….

I'm a simple person that craves for serene and quiet moments. I despise pretence and the crowded bars in the Metros. I’d rather stay home and watch TV than stay in those places. I love going out of town to unwind and retreat from the busy city life. I love to read books, especially novels that deal with love and romance,


I am looking forward to meet someone that can take me away and live for a day without any worries, drop what he is doing when I need him, romantic, passionate, caring, understanding and would love me as I am. But I know that this can’t happen because such idealism will just break my heart and would hurt me in the end. That is why I erased these preferences already in mind for I know that they only appear at the night screen and in fantasy to fulfil my fancy. I’m open for any conversation that may tickle my fancy and bond with you. I despise pretence, what you see is what you get from me. And mind you, I don’t put my best foot forward in meeting other people, and I don’t believe in the saying, " First impression last forever. " Anybody can wear their best smile and fool the world of being nice but it would take time to know a person well.


When you’re out there looking for that perfect person, keep these things in mind. People change, no matter how hard they try not to. As you grow older you mature, and with each new level of maturity comes different ideas, different needs and wants. The person who was perfect for you at twenty could be the person you hate when you’re thirty-five. You have to find some one who will grow with you, change with you, laugh with you and cry with you. A person who fills in where you lack , a person whom you can fill in for when they are lacking. But what about the perfect person, you ask? They do not exist. Even the person you’re with was not perfect because the perfect person in your dreams was supposed to stay with you forever. There are no perfect people, only people who are perfect for each other. You deserve to be happy not in the arms of someone who keeps you waiting but in the arms of someone who will take you now, love you forever and leave you never.


Sometimes we ask ourselves why love leaves us when we have given so much of ourselves that there is little left for us to start all over again. A lot of us have built dreams with people we hoped would be with us forever only to realize that there is nothing permanent in this world. Love comes and goes. People share their lives with us and leave us. Life is a constant cycle of finding and losing, of making and breaking, of dying and living again. When our heart dies, it stops beating. But love is different. Don’t believe that love ends permanently even when we feel that love has died. It would only go into deep slumber and could one day be awakened by someone who could unlock our hearts. Always remember that in life, there are no mistakes, only lessons learned. In loving, there should be no regrets, only the appreciation of the joy we had. There is a time when life stops and when loves ends. But, we don’t have to stay in one place forever. Our life should move on even when everything else around us makes us feel that it shouldn’t. For there can only be happiness when we stop living in the past. Love will only find its way back when we give others the chance to share little of themselves with us. We might be miserable now, but there always would be someone out there who could ease the pain and bitterness in our hearts that had kept us from daring to love again


Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we love, we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own concerns. Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words, for you will find rewarding happiness not with the man you love but the man who loves you more.


The best lovers are those who are capable of loving from a distance, far enough to allow the other person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your being. To let go of someone doesn’t mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart.


Do not let the bitterness rare away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather lets you grow with wisdom. You may find peace in just loving someone from a distance not expecting anything in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful moments or sad memories of the past but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is- today.


There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship… don’t be so bitter about it! For it is a kind of FRIENDSHIP that will last for a LIFETIME!!! We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves.


You don’t have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don’t let your heart run your life, be sensible, and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well.


Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow: If you lose love that doesn’t mean that you failed in love. Cry, if you have to, but make sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you.


And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime. "When I lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more. For someday I can love someone the way that I loved you but you will never be loved again the way that I did."


"If you love me, let me know; if you don’t, let me go…"

Choose Happiness: Love And The Power Of No

A Friend sent me an e-mail earlier this week or the later part of previous week.  Thanks!  It listed 45 items which a 90 year old had shared as life lessons with a local newspaper.  I like many, differ with a few and would clarify a few others.  Number 38 stated: All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.  I disagree.  I am no ogre, I do believe in the power of love without a doubt.  However, I profess that in the end all that matters is that you did good.  Not just that you intended to do good, as the result is truly important.


At home this translates into all younger generation getting a healthy dose of ‘no’. All of us(cousin's, their kids,my siblings,) will attest to the fact they are truly loved by both parents and the whole family in general.  They will also attest that they don’t always get their wish or demand.  In many instances, they have to earn much of what they get.  The goal is to create good men & women.  This requires that they be prepared to handle life’s onslaught when it is their time to face the difficult path of life.  They must experience some setbacks and frustrations now in order to learn how to cope in the future.  We also instil in them to do good, not just feel good.  They know that when they don’t carry themselves as they are expected to, there are consequences – lost privileges, monetary loss, having to listen to respective mom's and elders expound on the error of their ways, etc.


This same rule applies to me.  I can’t be an ideal or an example to the younger kids, the power of ‘no’ if I get everything I want.  The argument can be made that it truly is ‘my money’ when I need something.  That argument will win the day, however, if it’s just a matter of who owns the finances, then the message is clear: when you’re older you can do as you well please.  That’s not it.  We as individuals must say no to what we want on a regular basis.  It’s called self control.  It applies to any facet of life.Ah, that doesn't mean you stop your medications and most important things to your life like my hubby used to frequently tell me : you stop taking those medicines you would be better(Any & all kinda meds).It doesn't work that way. Wants need to hear a 'No'than needs.


‘No’ appears counterintuitive to our belief in pursuing happiness.  However, life will tell us ‘no’ many times and we must be able to accommodate that within our overall pursuit of happiness.  Go out and do good!  Oh heck, throw lots of love around too!!


Stay Happy My Friends!

Women

Women..


They smile when they want to scream.


They sing when they want to cry.


They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous


They fight for what they believe in.


They stand up for injustice.


They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.


They go without new shoes so their children can have them.


They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.


They love unconditionally.


They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.


They are happy when they hear about a birth or a new marriage.


Their hearts break when a friend dies.


They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.


They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.


Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes.


They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.


The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!


Women do more than just give birth.


They bring joy and hope.


They give compassion and ideals.


They give moral support to their family and friends.


Women have a lot to say and a lot to give.

The Law of the Seed

This I found on the net and there was an instant connect and its so true:-


Take a look at an apple tree. There might be five hundred apples on the tree, each with ten seeds. That’s a lot of seeds. We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more trees?"


Nature has something to teach us here. It’s telling us: "Most seeds never grow. So if you really want to make something happen, you should better try more than once."


This might mean:


You’ll attend twenty interviews to get one job.


You’ll interview forty people to find one good employee.


You’ll talk to fifty people to sell one house, car, vacuum cleaner, insurance policy, or idea.


And you might meet a hundred acquaintances to find one special friend.


When we understand the ‘Law of the Seed’, we don’t get so disappointed. We stop feeling like victims.  We just need to understand them – and work with them.


Successful people fail more often. They plant more seeds.









On the other hand, let's say you expect that:


Friends SHOULD return favours.
People SHOULD appreciate you.
Planes SHOULD arrive on time.
Everyone SHOULD be honest.
Your husband or best friend SHOULD remember your birthday.


These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won't happen! So you end up frustrated and disappointed.


There's a better strategy. Demand less, and instead, have preferences! For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself:


"I WOULD PREFER "A", BUT IF "B" HAPPENS, IT'S OK TOO!"


You prefer that people are polite.. but when they are rude, it doesn't ruin your day.


You prefer sunshine.. but if it rains, it is ok too!


To become happier, we either need to:


a) Change the world, or
b) Change our thinking.
It is easier to change our Thinking!


IN A NUTSHELL~


It is not the problem that is the issue, but rather it is our attitude attending to the problem that is the problem. It's not what happens to you that determine your happiness but rather how you think about what happens to you!

Choose Happiness: Keeping It Real

There was a comment from a few weeks back which suggested that although we should strive to be happy, how do we cope with situations which really do bring unhappiness into our lives? When ever amongst friends we discuss on happiness, this is one of the first items which I have spoken about; therefore, this question is very important.


We have to be genuine.  When you feel love, anger, sadness, frustration, etc., you should show your true feelings.  We are human and need to act as such.  The caveat is that you should be very focused on who gets to see this side of you.  If someone upsets you, then you should certainly let them see or know your feelings assuming that you truly have been wronged.  If you had had a tough day you should not ‘take it out’ with the check-out person at your local grocery store, for example.  They are completely innocent, don’t know you or your problems and ultimately don’t care.  For the most part, you should reserve sharing you negative feelings with those who know you well and can help you – family and friends primarily.  So for all the ‘strangers’ you encounter you act as though everything is fine.  When they ask, “How are you?” it is not an open invitation to dump your problems on them.  For them, your answer is a very polite “I am doing fine”  A word of caution, even family and friends will reach a saturation point if they are always on the receiving end of your negative feelings.  Ultimately, we are adults and need to be able to cope with our negative moments in an adult fashion.


On the flip side, if you are experiencing great joy then do make every attempt to infect everyone around you, stranger, friend and family alike!


I was reading an article someone sent me recently from a Magazine.  It described how happiness and unhappiness may have some similarities to how an infectious disease spreads.  Very interesting.  I would suggest we catch the happiness bug and create a contagion and inoculate ourselves against the unhappiness bug!


Stay Happy My Friends!

Alive or Living?

Whenever I wake up to the sight of slivers of sunlight that shine into my room, I can’t help but be thankful that I have yet another chance at life. I’ve been alive for almost 30 years now and it was around 4 years back when I somehow got to get a grasp of the saying that “being alive is one thing, living life is another.” Living is definitely a challenge, even without philosophers and scientists trying to figure out its meaning. It ranges from the occasional “What do I wear to work today?” to something more problematic like “I’m still having trouble getting over my ex-boyfriend” to something even worse that I'm not pretty sure is yet to come for me – probably a case of  having worst nightmares or an eventual follow up of the dream into a reality(praying it doesn't come at all). I can’t say I have it figured out., I doubt anyone has and ever will, but I think it’s safe for me to at least say what I think it’s about:


Living is about exploring. I can immediately come up with two famous lines. “Life is a highway.” I think it’s the simplest and perfect metaphor ever created and it spawned many other familiar lines that are connected to it. That said, I guess living would be journeying through that highway. Of course there would be bumps and detours along the way. “It’s not so much about the destination but the journey.” True enough it’s the journey that changes us and we only see the full impact when we reach our goal.


Living is about making choices. If life is a highway, then there’s bound to be forks in the road and the choices we make at these forks change us. We can choose to forever stay in our comfort zone and walk the path we know to be safe or we can take a risk and walk the path unknown. The saying goes that a person is the sum of the choices he makes.


Living is about learning. Living is an experience. We live inside life and not outside it. We become immersed in it and try to learn the ropes of everything we encounter: cooking, driving, programming, etc. We learn through experiencing things firsthand, not with other people doing things for us. Through mistakes we learn what and what not to do. Learning helps us make better choices.


Living is about struggling. Life is full of contradictions in the abstract and problems in the concrete. It is never always easy. We encounter money problems or relationship problems. We struggle with the moral dilemma of our choices and the consequences that follow. These are the things that take part in molding us into better people.


Living is about loving. Who of us do not know about love? Living life is about experiencing it with other people. Family and friends shower us with love and we return it in kind. Love is essential to living. It is the warmth in our homes and a drink in our merrymaking. A life lived without love is not living at all.


Living is about being thankful. Living is about counting our blessings and not our misfortunes, what we have and not what we don’t. It is about being thankful for the chance to embrace life in its entirety, the good and bad together.


How is living different from being alive then? Living is being thankful of being alive.

HARDEST THINGS IN LOVE:

There could be more than what has been listed too 

1.  flashing your smile to someone u don’t want to see.
2.  bringing back the feeling u’ve learned to forget.
3.  showing that u care.
4.  finding a way to mend a broken heart.
5.  learning that u’ve been used by someone u truly love. 
6.  saying "i love you" when you truly mean it and when you don’t. 
7.  letting go of a person u’ve just learned to love.
8. realizing that u love somebody u’ve just taken for granted.
9. realizing that u love the person u’ve just broken up with.
10. Conveying ur love for someone who loves somebody else.
11. reminiscing the good times u shared together.
12. shielding ur heart to love somebody.
13. trying to hide what u really feel.
14. having a commitment with someone that u know would not last.
15. trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from ur eyes.
16. sharing the one u love with someone else.
17. loving a person too much.
18. giving up someone u never thought of giving up.
19. The fear when you know you know you are attracted to a special one after you have been hurt
20. loving someone you haven’t seen 
21. having the right love at the wrong time.
22. exerting effort to make the relationship last or work.
23. not being appreciated when u know u’ve given ur best.
24. taking the risk to fall in love again.
25. hiding ur relationship from someone else.
26. controlling ur feelings to avoid hurting a friend
27. choosing between 2 persons whom u really love.
28. waiting for promises you know he’ll never keep. .

Decide

There are many factors in life which you have no direct control. And yet even with those things, you can decide how to handle them.


Decide that this day will be productive and consequential, and it will be. Decide to rise above the petty distractions, and you’re already on your way.


Decide that there are valuable opportunities in the challenges, and you’ll find those opportunities. Decide to make a positive difference, and you’ll have what is necessary to do so.


Decide to live and work and play from a perspective of doing good and doing great.  

Pursuit of Happiness~

Our happiness quotient determines the quality of our lives. 


I happened to watch the movie, “Pursuit of Happiness”, the other day on television. A touching narrative of a salesman struggling to build a future for himself and his son (inspired by the true story about a man named Christopher Gardner). The tale shows how, sometimes, the choices we make in life twist and turn our aspirations and ambitions on its head and send us into a downward spiral of doom. It also depicts how some people just hold on and face all the trials and tribulations bravely in their pursuit of big dreams and ultimately, happiness.


In my opinion, what makes a person happy is very subjective. In this materialistic world, we tend to find happiness in the material pleasures like a big house, a great job, hi-fi gadgets and so on. Hence, we notice that as and when our wishes are fulfilled, we are ready with a new list desires. The satisfaction seems to be missing and hence the happiness. The happiness that we feel when we get an increment or buy a new car is just hoarding and therefore it vanishes the moment we set our eyes on bigger and better targets. Jealousy of others possessions and achievements is also a sign of lack of happiness within ourselves. Aiming for worldly comforts is not wrong as it is required for a life at ease but happiness should not be pursued in these things. Instead, the happiness in being with our loved ones, watching our kids grow, being able to help the under privileged or making someone’s day is the true feeling which will last forever.

With the inspiration derived wish I can do something to the society

A BIG THANK YOU! to all great women who I known have been successful professionals. These great women inspire me to go ahead. These women have several characteristics that I endeavour to imbibe. Some of the characteristics that are the closest to my heart are:


My Mum’s ability to give – To give love and affection to her 2 children, keep parents and parents in laws happy, going out of the way to offer help to everyone, friends, neighbors, acquaintances, and even the non-acquaintances. I admire her ability to listen empathetically and offer what ever she has…without any selfish reasoning behind. 


Mother Teresa’s ability to serve – Tirelessly for over 45 years, Mother Teresa ministered to the poor, sick, orphaned, and dying, while guiding the Missionaries of Charity's expansion. I admire her dedication,patience and devotion to serve the needy. 


Indira Gandhi for her strength, courage, and perseverance – I admire the strong-willed, highly intelligent woman who rose against all odds to being the first woman Indian Prime Minister. She was known for her decisiveness and strong decisions and went on to be called as the Iron Lady of India. 


All women professionals for their ability to multitask – I’ve seen working ladies jogging in shorts over the weekends…and that gets me thinking that if a woman with responsibilities can take time out for herself and her family so can I. Such women who are able to manage work, spouse, kids, in-laws, relatives, friends, hobbies and passions and yet manage to take time out for themselves truly motivate me in their ability.
I am glad that I don’t have to look back far in history to identify these women… they are here all around me, successful and leading others to be successful in todays fast paced lives, working with all their passion and dedication yet addressing the softer side of us women. 


I am proud to be a WOMAN 

Hey everyone. I'm planning on writing(just a thought as of now) a book with the name. ie "The Loser, The loss and the toss". Its a general book which does not tell anyone what to do. It does not tell how to do things in life, it does not tell how to be a better person. It only tells you how to SEE things in life. How to find the best in the worst happened. It tells you how to see a defeat right in the eye and tell it that 'I am better than you. You cannot break me.'


I just started writing this, mood swing and then the topic became serious. :D


Whatever, it just starts with how we look at things. Its like how a loser is percieved. A loser is perceived as a person who is not successfull. A person who has failed. But if you look at it in another way, a loser is a person who knows how not to lose again. The only way for him is UP. There is no way down. A loser is a person who actually knows how to succeed. He knows how not to fail. A loser is a person who defines a winner. Without a loser, there ain't a winner. If nobody loses, who wins?


Its just the matter of how you look at things. What is your life metaphor. What is your funda of life. The best way to live is not being fit, not being rich, not being successful. Its by being optimistic and staying happy. Rest everything is just a peck.


Ok Have ranted enough for the day :P signing off, goodnight !