Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

 Hi fiends off late this is how my day goes how about yours? "P

 This is how it manifests:

 I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,

I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.  

As I start toward the garage,

I notice mail on the porch table that

I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,

put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,

and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back

on the table and take out the garbage first...

But then I think,

since I'm going to be near the mailbox

when I take out the garbage anyway,

I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table,

and see that there is only one cheque left.

My extra cheques are in my desk in the study,

so I go inside the house to my desk where

I find the can of juice I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my cheques ,

but first I need to push the   juice aside

so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The juice is getting warm,

and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the juice,

a vase of flowers on the counter

catches my eye--they need water.

I put the juice on the counter and

discover my reading glasses that

I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,

but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,

fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.

Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,

I'll be looking for the remote,

but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,

so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,

but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,

but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,

get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to

remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

the car isn't washed

the bills aren't paid

there is a warm can of

juice sitting on the counter

the flowers don't have enough water,

there is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

and I don't remember what I did with the car keys

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,

I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all  day,

and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,

and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail....

Do me a favour.

Forward this message to everyone you know,

because I don't remember who I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!   

P. S. I don't remember who sent it to me, so if it was you, I'm sorry...

  

What it feels like…

It sucks to bottle things up inside you…

But it sucks more knowing that when you tell someone something,

They will just sit there and judge you…

It is so hard to open up to someone who’s just curious about what you’re going through in life.

And once the curiosity is satisfied, they just leave you.

Or much worst, they will spread sh*t about you.

Yes, trust is always an issue.

You may find it funny, but for me,

It’s easier to tell things to a complete stranger, because they don’t judge you.

They do listen, and it doesn’t matter if they tell it to the people they know, ’cause they don’t have any idea about who you are, where you came from and what you are going through.

What I really wanna emphasize is that, once you found the person who can be whoever, who are themselves when you’re with them, where you can act stupid, silly and crazy at times yet they still accept you for who you are. Don’t let them go. Cherish them. Value every single moment with them.

It’s not everyday that you meet someone whom you can share every littlest thing in your life.

It’s not every day that you meet someone who cares, who really cares.

It’s not every day that you meet someone whom you can call your FRIEND.

Honestly, I may have few of them, but I know and I am sure that they love me and that they do care for me.

And it is because of them that I consider myself ONE LUCKY PERSON on EARTH.

Previous night when I was SMSing my friend I told him I'm in the process of searching myself and in response he replied back saying if you would want to search yourself look into the hearts of people where you lived and shall always..who love you for all that you are without any pre requisites and conditions..

The truth

Being single is not bad at all. In essence, it doesn't really mean you’re incomplete. But there are just those times that you’ll feel lacking. Those times when the nagging feeling of needing to have a certain someone creeps up at you. There are those hard to avoid moments where you realize you don’t have someone to inform about how your day went, you have no one to stay up late with, you have no one who sends you sweet messages, no one to share your crazy thoughts to, no one to spend simple and special moments with, no one who understands and accepts all your quirks, and you have no one who tells you “I Love You” at any given time of the day. It’s not that much about the loneliness or the fear of being alone. It’s more about trying to reconcile yourself with the fact that out of billions of people in the world, not even one person fought for the right to be with you.

“Excellence: Skill or Attitude”

A real life story that inspired me to quite an extent and I came to believe in the message it conveyed~ We mostly do things for people around us and their to build on their views on us stop! We live once and its for OURSELVES. (i don't mean to say be selfish, but living life satisfactorily.We need to be satisfied with out own lives, No one can give it to you except you; You know what you are, others would only see and hear what they want to, you cannot change it, so be contempt with your life, be happy not for others but yourself!)


A gentleman once visited a place under construction where he saw a sculptor making a statute. Suddenly he noticed a similar statute lying nearby.

Surprised, he asked the sculptor, "Do you need two statues of the same kind?"

" No," said the sculptor without looking up, "We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage."

The gentleman examined the statute and found no apparent damage… "Where is the damage?" he asked.

"There is a scratch on the nose of the statute," said the sculptor, still busy with his work.

"Where are you going to install the statute?"

The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar twenty feet high.

"If the statute is that high, who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?" the gentleman asked.

The sculptor stopped his work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said, "I know it and God knows it!"

My derivation of the message conveyed~

The desire to excel should be exclusive of the fact whether someone appreciates it or not.

Excellence is a drive from inside, not outside.

Excel at a task today – not necessarily for someone else to notice but for your own satisfaction.

Remember, "Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude." – Ralph Marston

Choose Happiness: The Road To Mastery

One of the books I include in my litany of sources for this blog on happiness is “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch.  If you are unfamiliar with this book or story, Randy was a professor at Carnegie Mellon University.  He gave his last lecture, a tradition amongst professors, a few years back.  For him it truly was his last lecture as he was dying from cancer.  He passed away a few months later.

He shares a story about his football coach who was a very tough but fair man.  One day, after an exhausting practice, one of the assistant coaches said to Randy, “Coach Graham rode you pretty hard today, huh?”  Randy agreed.  The assistant coach continued, “That’s good.  When you’re screwing up and no one is saying anything anymore that means they gave up.”  And so it is.

Dr. Stephen Marmer who defined the 4 stages of life – Dependence, Mastery, Big Fish In A Little Pond and Small Fish In A Big Pond.  Pausch’s story speaks on Mastery.  We may not always appreciate the long practices, the push ups, the running, the coach or mentor or colleague barking at us to spur us on or the long court proceedings.  We would prefer to do it at our own pace, on our own terms.  But the silence of our own will is sometimes deafening.  We need to be challenged.  We need to hear some things which make us uncomfortable.  Ultimately, we need others who care enough about us to focus more on doing good for us, versus doing nice things in order to gain our affection (boy this sounds familiar!).

In an interview, near his death, Randy said that sometimes you leave the field and the score is not in your favor.  You know that you really gave it your all.  The other team was just too strong.  He ended by stating that even if he was not all that important, “I had my hour.”

Our road towards mastery is pock marked with failure.  This is necessary.  Here lies growth, maturity and progression towards the ‘big fish’ stage where your ‘hour’ may come.  Stay patient.  Stay focused.  Stay strong.

Stay Happy My Friends

Choose Happiness: Love Is Not A Pie

When you give love to a person, it does not diminish the love you have left to give to others.  In fact, the more you love another, the greater the love you may have for a greater number of people.  For love ensues love.  In essence, the more you love the greater your ‘love pie’ grows!!

As an example, for those parents with children, they do not love their first child less when the second child was born.  Or if you only have one child, your love for your husband, family or friends did not diminish with the birth of your child.  Love is boundless.

There are things in our lives which are like a pie – money and time, for example.  Time is limited to the number of hours in a day being set for all.  No one gets any more or less.  A brilliant observation made by a woman is that women tend to associate attention with love.  Since attention can only be given with the time we have, therein lays the problem with men as we try to understand a woman’s need for time.  Being aware of the other gender’s perceptions is better than half the battle to a good relationship.

The Beatles got it partly right.  Love is not all we need, but it is certainly a significant factor in increasing our happiness and helping us to make others happy.

Stay happy my friends!

10 Secrets to Fulfilling Relationships

   1. The first secret? the power of THOUGHT.
      Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think about. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about ourselves and others. If we want to love someone, we need to consider their needs and desires.

   2. The second secret? the power of GIVING.
      If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of yourself, freely and unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. Before committing to a relationship, ask not what the other person will be able to give to you, but rather what will you be able to give them. The secret formula of a happy, lifelong, loving relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of what you can take.

   3. The third secret? the power of RESPECT.
      You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect ask yourself, "What do I respect about myself?" To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself "What do I respect about them?"

   4. The fourth secret? the power of FRIENDSHIP.
      To find a true love, you must first find a true friend. Love does not consist of gazing into each other’s eyes, but rather looking outward together in the same direction. To love someone completely you must love them for who they are, not what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which love’s seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.

   5. The fifth secret? the power of LETTING GO.
      If you love something, let it free. If it comes back to you, it’s yours; if it doesn’t, it never was. Even in a loving relationship, people need their own space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and let go of past hurts and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions. "Today I let go of all my fears, the past has no power over me – today is the beginning of a new life."

   6. The sixth secret? the power of COMMUNICATION.
      When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say those three magic words: "I Love You." Never let an opportunity pass to praise someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word – it could be the last time you see them! If you were about to die but could make telephone calls to the people you loved, who would you call, what would you say and … why are you waiting?

   7. The seventh secret? the power of COMMITMENT.
      If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it, and that commitment will be reflected in your thoughts and actions. Commitment is the true test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship from a strong one.

   8. The eighth secret? the power of PASSION.
      Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone, it comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. Passion can be recreated by recreating past experiences when you felt passionate. Spontaneity and surprises produce passion. The essence of love and happiness are the same; all we need to do is to live each day with passion.

   9. The ninth secret? the power of TOUCH.
      Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.

  10. The tenth secret? the power of TRUST.
      Trust is essential in all loving relationships. Without it, one person becomes suspicious, anxious and fearful and the other person feels trapped and emotionally suffocated. You cannot love someone completely unless you trust them completely. Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end. One of the ways you can tell whether a person is right for you is to ask yourself, "Do I trust them completely and unreservedly?" If the answer is "no", think carefully before making a commitment.

A girl's message-

If you see me walking the road with someone else
It’s not because I like his company
Its because you’re not brave enough to walk
beside me.

If you hear me talking about him all the time
Its not because he pleases me
Its because you’re too deaf to hear my
heartbeat

If you feel me falling with someone new
Its not because I love him
Because you’re not there to catch me fall

If you feel lost, I too am nowhere
I too don’t know where the road is going
Are we gonna cross each other’s path
Or just completely turn around?
Will we just let go of what we had
Or go to the place where love is bound

Don’t let me walk with him
It’s you I want to walk with
Don’t let me talk of him
It’s you I want to talk with
Don’t let me fall for him
It’s you I want to fall in love with.

“HOW THE GUY REPLY”

When you thought I wasn’t brave enough to walk
beside you
I was behind you every step of the way
Still filled with awe because of the beauty
that stands before me

When you thought I was too deaf to hear your
heartbeat I didn’t want to assume anything
And I was afraid to lose our friendship

When you thought I wasn’t there to catch you
It was because you never gave me the chance
You never reached the bottom, you’ve already
grabbed a branch

If you feel like you are nowhere, I too am
lost I too don’t know where the road is going
Are we just going to turn around,
Or are we gonna cross each other’s path?
Will we just let go of what we had
Or go to the place where love is bound?

Don’t let me walk alone
I want to walk by your side
Don’t let me talk of something else
It’s you I want to talk with
Don’t fall for someone else
It’s you I want to fall in love with.

Read a write up...an experience

I read a write up 2 days ago few thoughts on it..

The writer claims it to be his own true experience and I guess most of us go through this phase and experience it at least sometime in life..need not be the exact feelings or may be... read on~ It's a gist 


The story revolves around NAMIT who is a day dreamer, egoistic, and an attention seeker, romance and him are 2 poles apart, afflicted with a bizarre madness and arrogance engulfing him. It is the story of his life which encompasses love, dedication, eccentricity, friendship and overall his discovery of his TRUE LOVE, his soulmate and also the anguish of losing it due to his obstinacy and self-centeredness. It is a repertoire of moments coated with velvetiness of love and bruised by the thorns of betrayal. It highlights the situations which ultimately turn him into a devil, who wants to annihilate the whole world with his impiety, consequences being the least he cares about; and eventually loses his happiness, identity and even himself in this process.

He could neither speak in words, nor could ever pen it down...
The loneliness, the emptiness her absence left behind...
Those moments spent in the warmth of her cuddle Still lingered in a cruel heart...... in a guilty mind!!!
Whenever he dreamt, he saw her so tranquil.. Can he trace the reason for the distance?distance between them both-poles apart :-) ?

I could relate quite a bit having gone through few similar situations..Made me think...so many random thoughts...Spent the day with the same thoughts lingering in my mind..tears wheeling down my cheeks...

Lovers to Friends…

One of the most dangerous things about falling in love is the risk you take knowing that in a moment that someone could no longer be yours. So why do we do it? Why do we open our hearts to feel vulnerable and broken? Because falling in love is a human’s most divine sense of feeling. For some people the love they have never fades. It exists as long as they exist. And when the world tries to invade what they have waited so long to feel, they wrap their fingers around it and never let go. White knuckles, red palm, they never let go. But with that love comes an ache that can never be rid of. It’s that uncontrollable and unstoppable realization that you have no power over the way you feel. You are victim to the sting of love. It hurts as much as it heals. For some, that ache wears on their soul, and they find themselves forgetting why they loved in the first place. They let go, release the tension in their hand, and watch as the very thing they once held dear fades away. So why do we do it? Why do we fall in love? Because even if the person you love gives up on you, even if you give up on the person you love, what has been will never change. The way your heart felt while it did last makes the risk worth it. Never forget what you did have. Maybe one day, you will find each other again. Maybe one day, you’ll both remember why you loved so deeply. Maybe one day, you won’t. But no one can take away what your heart so fondly remembers.


I'm letting it all go.. Some-things can never be forgotten..Few people are in distant memory yet they are there... 


People might give up the dreams woven together, the goals of being together. But then, they know, they gave up for the happiness of each other. 'THEY'gave up. Yes, but they won’t let their weakness destroy whatever  they had made. The relationship they had created. The ‘we’ is just too beautiful to make it fade.


Its again a new beginning...
Goodbye lover..


Hello friend..

Coffee?- lesson

All friends visited a teacher from our schooling days. During our visit, conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in their personal and professional lives.


Offering his students coffee, the teacher went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups -porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite – telling us to help ourselves to the coffee.


When all of us had a cup of coffee in hand, the teacher said,


“Notice that all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups… and then you began eyeing each other’s cups.


Now consider this: Life is the coffee; your job, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life. The type of cup one has, does not define, nor change the quality of Life a person lives. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us.


The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.”


God brews the coffee, not the cups… Enjoy your coffee!


Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Spend time with God over your coffee.


He conveyed it in such a simple manner ! A true teacher - salutations!

LIVE, LOVE and LEARN….

I'm a simple person that craves for serene and quiet moments. I despise pretence and the crowded bars in the Metros. I’d rather stay home and watch TV than stay in those places. I love going out of town to unwind and retreat from the busy city life. I love to read books, especially novels that deal with love and romance,


I am looking forward to meet someone that can take me away and live for a day without any worries, drop what he is doing when I need him, romantic, passionate, caring, understanding and would love me as I am. But I know that this can’t happen because such idealism will just break my heart and would hurt me in the end. That is why I erased these preferences already in mind for I know that they only appear at the night screen and in fantasy to fulfil my fancy. I’m open for any conversation that may tickle my fancy and bond with you. I despise pretence, what you see is what you get from me. And mind you, I don’t put my best foot forward in meeting other people, and I don’t believe in the saying, " First impression last forever. " Anybody can wear their best smile and fool the world of being nice but it would take time to know a person well.


When you’re out there looking for that perfect person, keep these things in mind. People change, no matter how hard they try not to. As you grow older you mature, and with each new level of maturity comes different ideas, different needs and wants. The person who was perfect for you at twenty could be the person you hate when you’re thirty-five. You have to find some one who will grow with you, change with you, laugh with you and cry with you. A person who fills in where you lack , a person whom you can fill in for when they are lacking. But what about the perfect person, you ask? They do not exist. Even the person you’re with was not perfect because the perfect person in your dreams was supposed to stay with you forever. There are no perfect people, only people who are perfect for each other. You deserve to be happy not in the arms of someone who keeps you waiting but in the arms of someone who will take you now, love you forever and leave you never.


Sometimes we ask ourselves why love leaves us when we have given so much of ourselves that there is little left for us to start all over again. A lot of us have built dreams with people we hoped would be with us forever only to realize that there is nothing permanent in this world. Love comes and goes. People share their lives with us and leave us. Life is a constant cycle of finding and losing, of making and breaking, of dying and living again. When our heart dies, it stops beating. But love is different. Don’t believe that love ends permanently even when we feel that love has died. It would only go into deep slumber and could one day be awakened by someone who could unlock our hearts. Always remember that in life, there are no mistakes, only lessons learned. In loving, there should be no regrets, only the appreciation of the joy we had. There is a time when life stops and when loves ends. But, we don’t have to stay in one place forever. Our life should move on even when everything else around us makes us feel that it shouldn’t. For there can only be happiness when we stop living in the past. Love will only find its way back when we give others the chance to share little of themselves with us. We might be miserable now, but there always would be someone out there who could ease the pain and bitterness in our hearts that had kept us from daring to love again


Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we love, we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own concerns. Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words, for you will find rewarding happiness not with the man you love but the man who loves you more.


The best lovers are those who are capable of loving from a distance, far enough to allow the other person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your being. To let go of someone doesn’t mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart.


Do not let the bitterness rare away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather lets you grow with wisdom. You may find peace in just loving someone from a distance not expecting anything in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful moments or sad memories of the past but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is- today.


There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship… don’t be so bitter about it! For it is a kind of FRIENDSHIP that will last for a LIFETIME!!! We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves.


You don’t have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don’t let your heart run your life, be sensible, and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well.


Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow: If you lose love that doesn’t mean that you failed in love. Cry, if you have to, but make sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you.


And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime. "When I lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more. For someday I can love someone the way that I loved you but you will never be loved again the way that I did."


"If you love me, let me know; if you don’t, let me go…"

Choose Happiness: Coping With Broken Tiles

Yesterday night couple of friends gathered at out home.  We focused on the broken tile syndrome.  This concept is based on the fact that our eyes may be more focused on a broken or missing tile in some great mosaic versus appreciating the larger work.  Oftentimes we do the same in our lives – focus on what’s missing versus what we do have.


Once you determine your broken or missing tiles, then what?  Dennis Prager, in his book, Happiness Is A Serious Problem, tells us that we have three options:  Get It, Forget It or Replace It.


Get It  I shared with the group that one of my missing tiles is that I have a need to write a book(a cookery book or say owning a restau).  It is something I have postponed for many years and it continues to weigh on me.  This is something I feel very strongly that I need to do.  Whether or not it gets published is not important, but the mere fact that I can complete it and make the effort to get it published is enough.  I already have the idea in place, however it calls for action


Forget It   I lost my grandparents parents(maternal as well as paternal)couple of years ago.  There is nothing I can do to bring them back, so although those are two huge(maternal 1 and paternal 1) missing tiles in my life, I have to forget it.  Not to forget them.  I never will.  I have come to accept that the best I can do is to carry their legacy forward, to honor their memories and if I can be half the woman my grandmom(maternal) was nothing like it...


Replace It   John Walsh, the host of America’s Most Wanted, came into his role in finding criminals after his son, Adam, was kidnapped and murdered in Florida.  He turned that tragedy into something to help others by creating legislation to protect children and to help law enforcement find criminals.


What we all friends realized is that in talking for 90 minutes or so we learned so much about each other. I hope a number of us identified some broken tiles and will find the time to determine how best to address them to help increase our happiness.  May you think about your own broken tiles and do the same.




Stay Happy My Friends!

Choose Happiness: Love And The Power Of No

A Friend sent me an e-mail earlier this week or the later part of previous week.  Thanks!  It listed 45 items which a 90 year old had shared as life lessons with a local newspaper.  I like many, differ with a few and would clarify a few others.  Number 38 stated: All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.  I disagree.  I am no ogre, I do believe in the power of love without a doubt.  However, I profess that in the end all that matters is that you did good.  Not just that you intended to do good, as the result is truly important.


At home this translates into all younger generation getting a healthy dose of ‘no’. All of us(cousin's, their kids,my siblings,) will attest to the fact they are truly loved by both parents and the whole family in general.  They will also attest that they don’t always get their wish or demand.  In many instances, they have to earn much of what they get.  The goal is to create good men & women.  This requires that they be prepared to handle life’s onslaught when it is their time to face the difficult path of life.  They must experience some setbacks and frustrations now in order to learn how to cope in the future.  We also instil in them to do good, not just feel good.  They know that when they don’t carry themselves as they are expected to, there are consequences – lost privileges, monetary loss, having to listen to respective mom's and elders expound on the error of their ways, etc.


This same rule applies to me.  I can’t be an ideal or an example to the younger kids, the power of ‘no’ if I get everything I want.  The argument can be made that it truly is ‘my money’ when I need something.  That argument will win the day, however, if it’s just a matter of who owns the finances, then the message is clear: when you’re older you can do as you well please.  That’s not it.  We as individuals must say no to what we want on a regular basis.  It’s called self control.  It applies to any facet of life.Ah, that doesn't mean you stop your medications and most important things to your life like my hubby used to frequently tell me : you stop taking those medicines you would be better(Any & all kinda meds).It doesn't work that way. Wants need to hear a 'No'than needs.


‘No’ appears counterintuitive to our belief in pursuing happiness.  However, life will tell us ‘no’ many times and we must be able to accommodate that within our overall pursuit of happiness.  Go out and do good!  Oh heck, throw lots of love around too!!


Stay Happy My Friends!

Women

Women..


They smile when they want to scream.


They sing when they want to cry.


They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous


They fight for what they believe in.


They stand up for injustice.


They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.


They go without new shoes so their children can have them.


They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.


They love unconditionally.


They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.


They are happy when they hear about a birth or a new marriage.


Their hearts break when a friend dies.


They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.


They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.


Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes.


They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.


The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!


Women do more than just give birth.


They bring joy and hope.


They give compassion and ideals.


They give moral support to their family and friends.


Women have a lot to say and a lot to give.

The Law of the Seed

This I found on the net and there was an instant connect and its so true:-


Take a look at an apple tree. There might be five hundred apples on the tree, each with ten seeds. That’s a lot of seeds. We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more trees?"


Nature has something to teach us here. It’s telling us: "Most seeds never grow. So if you really want to make something happen, you should better try more than once."


This might mean:


You’ll attend twenty interviews to get one job.


You’ll interview forty people to find one good employee.


You’ll talk to fifty people to sell one house, car, vacuum cleaner, insurance policy, or idea.


And you might meet a hundred acquaintances to find one special friend.


When we understand the ‘Law of the Seed’, we don’t get so disappointed. We stop feeling like victims.  We just need to understand them – and work with them.


Successful people fail more often. They plant more seeds.









On the other hand, let's say you expect that:


Friends SHOULD return favours.
People SHOULD appreciate you.
Planes SHOULD arrive on time.
Everyone SHOULD be honest.
Your husband or best friend SHOULD remember your birthday.


These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won't happen! So you end up frustrated and disappointed.


There's a better strategy. Demand less, and instead, have preferences! For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself:


"I WOULD PREFER "A", BUT IF "B" HAPPENS, IT'S OK TOO!"


You prefer that people are polite.. but when they are rude, it doesn't ruin your day.


You prefer sunshine.. but if it rains, it is ok too!


To become happier, we either need to:


a) Change the world, or
b) Change our thinking.
It is easier to change our Thinking!


IN A NUTSHELL~


It is not the problem that is the issue, but rather it is our attitude attending to the problem that is the problem. It's not what happens to you that determine your happiness but rather how you think about what happens to you!

Choose Happiness: Keeping It Real

There was a comment from a few weeks back which suggested that although we should strive to be happy, how do we cope with situations which really do bring unhappiness into our lives? When ever amongst friends we discuss on happiness, this is one of the first items which I have spoken about; therefore, this question is very important.


We have to be genuine.  When you feel love, anger, sadness, frustration, etc., you should show your true feelings.  We are human and need to act as such.  The caveat is that you should be very focused on who gets to see this side of you.  If someone upsets you, then you should certainly let them see or know your feelings assuming that you truly have been wronged.  If you had had a tough day you should not ‘take it out’ with the check-out person at your local grocery store, for example.  They are completely innocent, don’t know you or your problems and ultimately don’t care.  For the most part, you should reserve sharing you negative feelings with those who know you well and can help you – family and friends primarily.  So for all the ‘strangers’ you encounter you act as though everything is fine.  When they ask, “How are you?” it is not an open invitation to dump your problems on them.  For them, your answer is a very polite “I am doing fine”  A word of caution, even family and friends will reach a saturation point if they are always on the receiving end of your negative feelings.  Ultimately, we are adults and need to be able to cope with our negative moments in an adult fashion.


On the flip side, if you are experiencing great joy then do make every attempt to infect everyone around you, stranger, friend and family alike!


I was reading an article someone sent me recently from a Magazine.  It described how happiness and unhappiness may have some similarities to how an infectious disease spreads.  Very interesting.  I would suggest we catch the happiness bug and create a contagion and inoculate ourselves against the unhappiness bug!


Stay Happy My Friends!

Choose Happiness: My Pepper Tree Of Hope

We moved into our house about 6 years ago.  The spring after moving in, we did some work on our yard beside our home.  This included purchasing pepper tree.  My granny went with me to the nursery and helped me pick it out. We had a similar tree in our backyard at our previous home so this was the connection.  I grew up hanging upside down from that tree, with the requisite warnings from my mom to get down lest I break my neck! :D


For a few years our new tree did well.


Post monsoon 08 my granny quietly left us all...


A few summers ago our pepper tree appeared to succumb to a brutal summer.  Limb by limb it too apparently would quietly yield to the elements. When I cut the last dry branch I went back to nursery and looked for a new tree.  I explained to the arborist that I needed to replace my tree.  He asked whether there were any green shoots.  I affirmed that there were, though they were small.  He said it was always sad to give up on a tree.  Perhaps I should see if these new shoots would take.


The pepper tree is now a little larger than when we first purchased it. The buds which survived have now grown into strong branches.  Hope has won out.  I have cared for the tree all these years and have brought it back.  The work continues, but the tree remains.


I recall that our tree back in my parents’ house also went through some problems.  A plague cursed through its rings which, unlike Saturn’s, I know these marked time.


This is the season of hope.  Keep hope alive.  Assure that it’s grounded hope, not just hope beyond hope, as this may lead to desperation.


Stay Happy My Friends!

Alive or Living?

Whenever I wake up to the sight of slivers of sunlight that shine into my room, I can’t help but be thankful that I have yet another chance at life. I’ve been alive for almost 30 years now and it was around 4 years back when I somehow got to get a grasp of the saying that “being alive is one thing, living life is another.” Living is definitely a challenge, even without philosophers and scientists trying to figure out its meaning. It ranges from the occasional “What do I wear to work today?” to something more problematic like “I’m still having trouble getting over my ex-boyfriend” to something even worse that I'm not pretty sure is yet to come for me – probably a case of  having worst nightmares or an eventual follow up of the dream into a reality(praying it doesn't come at all). I can’t say I have it figured out., I doubt anyone has and ever will, but I think it’s safe for me to at least say what I think it’s about:


Living is about exploring. I can immediately come up with two famous lines. “Life is a highway.” I think it’s the simplest and perfect metaphor ever created and it spawned many other familiar lines that are connected to it. That said, I guess living would be journeying through that highway. Of course there would be bumps and detours along the way. “It’s not so much about the destination but the journey.” True enough it’s the journey that changes us and we only see the full impact when we reach our goal.


Living is about making choices. If life is a highway, then there’s bound to be forks in the road and the choices we make at these forks change us. We can choose to forever stay in our comfort zone and walk the path we know to be safe or we can take a risk and walk the path unknown. The saying goes that a person is the sum of the choices he makes.


Living is about learning. Living is an experience. We live inside life and not outside it. We become immersed in it and try to learn the ropes of everything we encounter: cooking, driving, programming, etc. We learn through experiencing things firsthand, not with other people doing things for us. Through mistakes we learn what and what not to do. Learning helps us make better choices.


Living is about struggling. Life is full of contradictions in the abstract and problems in the concrete. It is never always easy. We encounter money problems or relationship problems. We struggle with the moral dilemma of our choices and the consequences that follow. These are the things that take part in molding us into better people.


Living is about loving. Who of us do not know about love? Living life is about experiencing it with other people. Family and friends shower us with love and we return it in kind. Love is essential to living. It is the warmth in our homes and a drink in our merrymaking. A life lived without love is not living at all.


Living is about being thankful. Living is about counting our blessings and not our misfortunes, what we have and not what we don’t. It is about being thankful for the chance to embrace life in its entirety, the good and bad together.


How is living different from being alive then? Living is being thankful of being alive.